Week 17 Black Eggs on Rye

N.Y. Giants at Washington - I love the Giants
Carolina at New Orleans - I love the Saints
Cleveland at Houston - I love the Texans
Detroit at Dallas - I love Dallas
Jacksonville at Kansas City - I love Jacksonville
New England at Tennessee - I love Tennesse
Oakland at N.Y. Jets - I love the Jets
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - I love Cin
Seattle at Tampa Bay - I love Seattle
St. Louis at Minnesota - I love St. Louis
Arizona at San Diego - I love the Chargers
Atlanta at Philadelphia - I love Philly
Buffalo at Baltimore - I love Baltimore
Miami at Indianapolis - I love Indianapolis
San Francisco at Denver - I love Denver
Green Bay at Chicago - I love Chicago

Week 17 - Mod

Giants over Skins
Ok, so I forgot to pick this game... but who said you can't pick it and see if Lars will not read this part of the rant and give me a win. Let my lawyer defend me on this one.....

"Mod had no idea the Giants won 34-28 and Tiki Barber rushed for 234 yards and 3 TD's"

Saints over Panthers.
Well this game is useless now that the Giants won... another useless item: Chopsticks with a fan that cools your blazing hot noodles that came straight for the Earth's core.


Texans over Browns.
Both of these teams have amazing college teams in their state: Ohio State and Texas... you think some of that football knowledge would run over to the pro teams.

Cowboys over Lions.
Detroit can finally put all its attention into the Deanna Nolan and the Detroit Shock!




Chiefs over Jags.
So both teams need a win and some help to get into the playoffs. I hate asking for help but sometimes you gotta do it, like after you get hit like this guy and need to know which way the locker room is.


Patriots over Titans.
I keep picking against the Titans even though they keep winning. It's like back in middle school when everybody had corderoy pants... I knew that it was just a fad so I never got them, then I decided they were here to stay and got them right when people stopped wearing them. I'm glad I could care less what I wear these days.

Jets over Raiders.
I love how the Raiders have been shutout 3 times this year and haven't scored a touchdown in 6 games. That kind of futility hasn't been seen since the Grandmahs took the court in Bethel Intramurals.

Bengals over Steelers.
Wow, kind of suprising that both of these teams could miss the playoffs. Also suprising, Ron Artest playing a 3 string instrument.



Seahawks over Tampa Bay.
I had no idea the Bucs have a cornerback named Blue Adams. That might be the best athelete name Blue since Blue Edwards donned the Jazz uniform back in the early 90's.



Rams over Vikings.

Eagles over Falcons.

Ravens over Bills.

Colts over Dolphins.

Chargers over Cardinals.
Can't wait for the Rivers blowup in the playoffs.

Broncos over 49'ers.
I like the Broncos chances in the playoffs as much as I love waking up to the sound of Mophats hacking up a loogey on my freshman year floor.

Bears over Packers.
Bye Bye Brett Favre... at least for 2 months until you throw us on the "will Brett Favre come back for another season" routine.

Week 17 - MoPhats

Saints
Texans
Boys
Jags
Pats
Jets
Bengals
Seahawks
Rams
Chargers
Eagles
Ravens
Colts
Broncos
Bears

Taco the 17th

Taco loves:

The Men at the Inappropriate Indian References
The Pirates at home against the Dirty Sea birds
The Black Cats on the road at the Saintly Men
The Planes against the First Round Picks
The Boys against the Motor City Kitties
The Bungles against the Inappropriate Steel Workers References
The Worst team name ever over Poop
The Patriotic Men over Remember the Titans
The Jags over the Other Inappropriate Indian References
The Horses over the Fish
The B'cos over the 9ers in the Snow Bowl
Edgar Alen Poe over the Bills
The Patriotic Birds over Hotlanta
The Bolts over the Red Birds
The Bears over the Pack
And finally The Vikes over the Rams

Kyky - The Ultimate Week of the Season

My excuses just seem lame and promises empty. My apologies for my lack of effort. The p'offs will be ranted--I hope.

I LOVE:
SKINS over G-men
BUNGHOLES over Steel
'BOYS over Kitties
TITS over Pats
CHEFS over Jags
RUMS over Vikes
RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE over Pants
J-E-T-S over Pants
S'HAWKS over Bucs
TEXIS over Shite
BACOS over Niners
COLTS over Fins
UGLIES over Falsucks
BOLTS over Cards
RAVES over Bison
BURRS over Puckers.

Happy New Year. The p'offs are coming.

Larson: Week 17 Picks

Here's who I think will win:

NY Giants over Washington
Seattle over Tampa Bay
Minnesota over St. Louis
New Orleans over Carolina
NY Jets over Oakland
Dallas over Detroit
Pittsburgh over Cincinnati
Houston over Cleveland
New England over Tennessee
Kansas City over Jacksonville
Indianapolis over Miami
Denver over San Francisco
Baltimore over Buffalo
Philadelphia over Atlanta
San Diego over Arizona
Green Bay over Chicago

Gentlemen, it's been an honor.

N8

Reminder

in an act of unadulterated analness i remind you that the post below is for week 17, not 16, which you'll find futher down the line.

Week 17 - BUTTER

Hey blokes,

I hate to end the season with a fizzle rather than a bang, but I gotta due to a trip outta town. Here they is...

giants
eagles
ravens
saints
texans
cowboys
bears
jags
colts
pats
jets
bengs
s'hawks
rams
chargers
broncs

Christmas with Taco

Ok so once again Taco forgot about the Saturday game... Awesome NFL way to monopolize my life. Ok it is the day before Christmas Eve and Taco is working on some last minute gifts so this will be the lamest posting that he has ever done.

Bears
Remember the Titans
Black Cats
Horses
Poop
Edgar Alan Poe
Patriotic Men
Saints
Rams
9ers
Bolts
Bungles
Men
Planes

Merry Christmas!

Kyky - Penultimate fun

I realize that, over the course of the season, I've put up a somewhat lackluster effort. Mailing in my picks with no commentary week after week while some guys knock my socks off with terrific rants. This is not going to change this week, though. Christmas with the fam is happn'in. I promise that I will rant next week--the semester is done and I got's nothing else to do. Huzzah!!

I love Chefs over Raidahs
I love Raves over Steel
I love Falsucks over Pants
I love Cubs over Kitties
I love Colts over Texis
I love Jags over Pats
I love Righteous People over G-men
I love Shite over Bucs
I love Tits over Bufs
I love Rums over Skins
I love Ninnies over Cards
I love Bacos over Bengalis
I love Bolts over S'Hawks
I love 'Boys over Uggles
I love J-e-t-s over Fins

Happy Christmas, and Buf's butt smells like old lutefisk.

Week 16 I'm lame

Green Bay at Minnesota - Minnesota by whatever
Kansas City at Oakland - KC
Baltimore at Pittsburgh - Baltimore
Carolina at Atlanta - Mylanta
Chicago at Detroit - Chicago
Indianapolis at Houston - Colts
New England at Jacksonville - Pats
New Orleans at N.Y. Giants - Saints
Tampa Bay at Cleveland - Browns
Tennessee at Buffalo - Tennessee
Washington at St. Louis - Wash
Arizona at San Francisco - 9ers
Cincinnati at Denver - Denver
San Diego at Seattle - Chargers
Philadelphia at Dallas - Dallas
N.Y. Jets at Miami - Miami

Week 16 - MoPhats

Chefs
Ravens
Panthers
Bears
Colts
Jags
Saints
Bucs
Titans
Skins
Cards
Broncos
Chargers
Cowboys
Jets

Kyky - Brett Favre Orgy

Pack over the Vikes

Week 16 - Try some BUTTER on your pumpernickle

Hey Mod, I saw your rant and it was quality, but I'm gunnin for you. Let's get this started right:

PACK will beat the vikes. The amazing this is that after this game one of these team will have an outside shot at the playoffs and W understands this better than you could know.

As you can see our president is quite multi-talented. I hate how no matter how hard you try to eat neat, a little sauce always makes its way to the wife beater. You may be asking how the pack will get past a better vikings team.... Strategery, of course.

CHEIFS over the rads. This is why:

I look at these strapping young lads and I see nothing but potential. The future is indeed bright. Might this be an underground project of a young Tim and Dan Brown?

RAMS over the skins. The rams are like the bucs. When they find the fountain of youth, you know that fountain in the original Legend of Zelda where the fairy recharges all of your life force, they'll be good.

No, let ME touch him!!!

CULTS over the toxins.

Male nudity never disappoints. Throw some facial hair in there and you've found the pot of gold.

RAVENS over the arm pitts. Just ask Dave.

This album cover is just ok until you realize his name is Devastatin' Dave, then you question life a little bit, crawl in to a corner and weep bitterly, clean your pores out with a salt scrub and realize.... yes, he really is in fact Devastatin'.

FALCONS over pantzers. The Vicks have something to play for here and the pants lack a QB. Plus if anyone is a "Man O War" it's Michael Vick.

These are vicious, violent, dangerous men of war and they have the backing of an anothology. Imagine the sweet, sweet honey to the ears found on this compact disc. (I think I said something about male nudity earlier). These men are suited up in their thongs fighting against the atrocities of fully clothed men. The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.

BEARS will handle the lions with their second stringers. I know what you're thinking, the Bears aren't sitting their starters, but take a look at the injury report.

These are the people you're playing for. Screw failure's not an option. Is failure even possible?

JAGS all over the pats. This is one of those weeks the jags will show up. You never know when they'll come to play. Just like you'll never know when this guy will kill you.

As deadly as they come, is there a better bond villian than Odd Job?

SAINTS over the battered giants. Remember the question I just asked....

I stand corrected. Elijah Manning meet Jaws. "Sir I believe that coat belongs to Mr. Gilmore."

POOPs handle the buca-de-pippos at home.

TITS over the bills. Check out the bills new uniform:


Stylish and practical, what more can they want. If what they say about fashion going in cycles is true, than leiterhosen are due for a pass sometime soon, but only YOU can help bring it back.

9ers over the cards. In the tale of the lost season, the 9ers will triumph. We expect both these teams to show up next year, but here's a quick summary of both these franchises as they are now:

Any questions?

CHARGERS over the s'hawks. The chargers are pretty good, almost as good as this:

Michael Bay, the man has a creative motor that never stops.

Bung-holes over the broncos.

Now if you'll please be silent and give the floor to Marty McFly, tapered jeans and hover board (man do I want one of those).

COWGIRLS or the eaglettes. Tomo Romo made the pro-bowl?!? I think I may chuck gordita with ranch sauce.

Walker....when cowboys were real men, instead of those modern day limp-wristed ninnies!

JETS over the finnies. It'll look like this...

Drink my pet. Drink and have your fill. This kinda looks like what the Bears did to the NFC North.

Now get outta my face...

Taco with a side of Action Jackson

Taco must say that this game worries him a bit because the Vikings can't seem to stop anyone from passing on them. In fact it is quite possible that a Taco lead Minnehaha Academy JV team could march down the field and put up 6. The biggest connection would be Taco to Luke Hennig at Tight End. However I think that Action Jackson making his first NFL start will make a few mistakes and take his lumps but will also be able to do enough.

As always Taco loves the Purple in the colored bay.

Week 16.2 - MoPhats

Pack over Viks

Week 16 Picks: Larson

Blah, blah, blah!

Minnesota over Green Bay
Kansas City over Oakland
Chicago over Detroit
Tennessee over Buffalo
Atlanta over Carolina
Indianapolis over Houston
Tampa Bay over Cleveland
Pittsburgh over Baltimore
New England over Jacksonville
New Orleans over NY Giants
Washington over St. Louis
San Francisco over Arizona
San Diego over Seattle
Denver over Cincinnati
Dallas over Philadelphia
NY Jets over Miami

Peace, and a very merry Christmas to all...

N8

week 16- modular

Let's face it, multi-million dollar athletes get the headlines but what about real fans like Theo Burgandy who bleeds Jaguar blue... or Rich Tater who will miss his wife's funeral to watch the Lions even though their season is basically over before it starts. Here's a tribute to the real stars of the game, fans like you and I who sacrifice more than just their time every Sunday.

Green Bay vs. Minnesota. I love the Packers in this one......but I don't feel I love them as much as Marty Dickson from Eau Claire, Wisconsin does. Marty became the first Packer fan to carve a top hat out of real Wisconsin cheese. Not a big deal right? Well what makes him impressive is that Marty also teaches Physics and got his whole 6th period class to test the first law of motion on himself with his AJ Hawk jersey on. I don't even think it's necessary to tell you what happened.

Kansas City vs. Oakland. I love the Chiefs this week. Mitchell Butler also loves the Chiefs and as you can see from the background... also loves technology. Mitch, as his buddies call him, loves getting up early on Sunday morning to check his C++ control structures. After this, its all Chiefs football the rest of the day.

Chicago vs. Detroit. I absolutely love the Bears over the Lions.
Look at Gary Leonard here, this guy went to work on Monday wearing a full authentic Bear head. The Super Fans get a lot of pub but Gary here deserves the most... perhaps Tank Johnson needed the guns to keep this freak away.

St. Louis vs. Washington. I love the Rams over the Skins. There isn't a fan out there that bleeds gold and blue more than Jackie Urgus. Jackie quit his stellar job as a night club owner in LA to follow the Rams to St. Louis. He criticized the team after sticking with Mike Martz too long but loves the new regime under Scott Linehan. Look for Jackie on Sunday's either at the game with his Ram blow up hat on or at his bar... "The Rammer"

New York Giants vs. New Orleans. I love the Saints to get it done against the G-men. The Holy People have a great fan base. And at every root of a great fanbase, is one great fan. That fan here for the Saints is Carl Jenkins. Carl loves heading out to the Superdome after the early service and donning his Saints Pope Hat that he created last year. If every fan base had a Carl, this world would be a better place.

Pittsburgh vs. Baltimore. I love the Ravens over the Steelfest. Does a Ravens fan get bigger than Bob Stromberg? I remember heading over to the Stromberg household for a Super Bowl party one year and all Bob wanted to talk about was the Ravens and their new QB Kyle Boller. God Bless you Bob, you are the definition of loyal.

Atlanta vs. Carolina. I love the Falcons to be all over the Panthers. Bud Carroll loves Michael Vick and was also suprisingly into Kris Kross back in the day. Put those two deadly factors into combination and you get the biggest Falcon fan I know.

Jacksonville vs. New England. I'll take the Jags in this one.

Buffalo vs. Tennessee. I love the Bills to do a number 2 on the Tits.

Indianapolis vs. Houston. I love the Colts to keep dominating the Texans.

Cleveland vs. Tampa Bay. I love the Bucs in this one.

San Francisco vs. Arizona. Gotta love the 49'ers in this one.

Denver vs. Cincinnati. I love the Bengals to rebound over the Broncos.

San Diego vs. Seattle. I love the Chargers this week over the Seahawks.

Dallas vs. Philadelphia. I midly love the Cowboys this week over the Eagles.

Miami vs. New York Jets. Tough one, but I'll take the Jets here.

Kyky 15.3

I LOVE FINS over Wild Wings
I LOVE BURRS over Bucs
I LOVE PUCKERS over Kitties
I LOVE TITS over Jags
I LOVE VIKES over j-e-t-s
I LOVE PATS over Texis
I LOVE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE over Skins
I LOVE STEEL over Pants
I LOVE RAVES over Shite
I LOVE BACOS over Cards
I LOVE RUMS over Raidahs
I LOVE UGGLES over G-men
I LOVE BOLTS over Chefs
I LOVE COLTS over Bengholes

Peace, love, and regular bowel movements.

Week 15 - MoPhats

Ravens over Brown
Lions over Packers
Pats over Texans
Jags over Titans
Dolphins over Bills
Jets over Viks
Panthers over Stellers
Bears over Bucs
Saints over Skins
Broncos over Cards
Giants over Eagles
Rams over Raiders
Chargers over Chiefs
Bengals over Colts

Taco coming at you

Damn Saturday game. Why doesn’t the NFL just star having games on Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s as well. Than maybe next season, we could add a Friday to the mix than they could own the airwaves and dominate the world like The Disney Corporation and Comcast. How awesome would that be? Every time you turn on the TV it is either reruns of the Mickey Mouse club or the Cleveland poop locked in a cross-country show down with the mighty Arizona Red Birds. Frick that would be sweet. Every person in the country would be forced to have at least one credit card with your favorite NFL team, and the only pencils that would be allowed during football season would be official NFL team pencils… Unless your engaged in a pencil fight in the back of the bus in which case you would be thrown in jail and most likely put in front of a firing squad for using NFL pencils. If you are caught watching hockey or basketball on a satellite dish during football season. Minimum one year hard labor.

Man I sure hope that happens.

To the picks:

Since the game has already started I will take Hotlanta because they are trailing. I wasn’t going to check the score, but than decided that I should. Lars use your judgment on this one.

I love the Saints at home
I love the Patriotic men at home
I love the black cats at home
I hate the Bears but they will win at home
I love the Ravens at home
I love the Bills at home
I hate the Pack, but they will win at home
I love the Jags on the road
I love the Red birds to upset the B’cos
I love the Men at home
I love the Rams on the road
I love the Bolts at home
I love the Horses at home I love the Vikes at home… Playoffs… Ok who am I fooling

Kyky 15.2

Dallas by a $1 billion dollar stadium. Have you seen this thing?!? I'm glad "America's team" now has a properly ostentatious home. In related news, Dan Snyder is pissed.

Week 15 - Mod

So it's been an off-year for the reigning champ, but I'm feeling good about doing good in the playoffs. Not sure how playoffs are going to work for WDYL, but I feel good about them nonetheless. Hawknaginsighs... you stink.



Dallas vs. Atlanta. I love the Cowboys to rebound here against the Falcons. One of my friends heard Terrell Owens use the following pick up line at a bar in Dallas:

Woman: Hey, do you play for the Cowboys?
Terrell: Hey baby, taking 36 pain pills wouldn't even come close to healing my heart if you don't take off your clothes right now and ride TO to the endzone.

Miami vs. Buffalo. I love the Dolphins over the Bills this week. I took a business trip and while I was working out at the club, I saw Joey Harrington working out and totally macking on this one girl:

Woman: So what do you do?
Joey: I'm a professional quarterback for the Dolphins!
Woman: Oh, I'm sorry... I'm a Bucs fan.
Joey: Me too! I love to Buc.

Washington vs. New Orleans. I love the ESPN's flavor of the week over the Skins. Speaking of flavors, check out what flavor Drew Brees dropped on this unsuspecting hottie in the New Orleans ampitheatre last week:

Drew: Hey sweetheart, time's a cookin.. and when it's time to cook, I usually cook up a nice bowl of taking you home and making sweet love all night long.



Pittsburgh vs. Carolina. I love the Steelers to drop Carolina. Chris Weinke is making the most of his star status the last couple weeks by trying to scoop up some sweet Carolina tail:

Chris: My names Chris Weinke and I have a large dinky.
Blonde Woman: That's awesome! I'm a huge Pac-man fan as well!

Tampa Bay vs. Chicago. Bears in a landslide. What's better than spending a weekend in the hot sun of Chicago... spending a weekend in the hot sun of Chicago with Tampa Bay pimp... Bruce Gradkowski... They don't call him the Polish Pimp for nothing.



NY Jets vs. Minnesota. Vikes pull this one out and end the Jets playoff hopes. I'd like to take the time here to congratulate the Watson's pool girl for finding some unlucky guy to get her pregnant. At least she probably scored a sweet deal for a baby pool in the back yard.


Cleveland vs. Baltimore. I love the Ravens to destroy the Browns. Speaking of black birds... here is one:



Jacksonville vs. Tennessee. I'm going with the Jags over the Tits. I have yet to post a horrible album cover and since making a joke about the Tits is pretty easy... here goes nothing:

Magic Voices Indeed!



Houston vs. New England. I like the Patriots to rebound against the Texanians.

Detroit vs. Green Bay. I love the Packers over the Lions.

Denver vs. Arizona. I love the Broncos over the Cardinals this week.

St. Louis vs. Oakland. I love the Rams over the Raiders in Oakland.

Philadelphia vs. NY Giants I love the Giants over the Eagles.

Kansas City vs. San Diego. The Chargers over the Chiefs .

Cincinnati vs. Indianapolis. Bengals over the Colts in the highest scoring game ever.

Oh well

Forgot to pick tonight's game but all of WDYL got it wrong anyways.

We all suck, but not as much as the Seahawks.... no super bowl for you guys this year.

Week 15.5 - MoPhats

Seahawks over 9ers, tough call

BUTTER-UP to 15

This week let's open up with the MVP award. I think the winner of the MVP will go to whoever has a good week right before voting. It's seriously such a joke. Every week someone new is getting the nod for MVP and coach of the year. Based on that criteria I think that the Most Volitile Penis (MVP) award should be shared this year between the entire Bengals team for getting their dicks arrested for something new and exciting every weekend (DUI, etc. and also to Ray Lewis as extra credit for committing murder.

Leg, I have the perfect solution for next season's WDYL. Obviously the current rant system isn't quite up to snuff. I think peope should accumulate rant points over the season and it should be listed every week next to their record a.k.a. Mr. Butter (16-0) [4]. The four would be my accumulated rant points. When two people have a tie, whoever has more rant points wins and if they have the same amount the tie is broken by the better rant that week, if that week sux then it's broken by the week before, etc. So if I face Black Egg and he has 1 rant point and I have 4, I would win. This encourages ppl to bring it each week. Your rant points don't go away, you just try to rack'em up. Are we clear as a toilet bowl after eating a true Philly Cheesesteak? Good.

Now let's have a moment of respect for the 80's (please note the tapered jeans):

Seahawks cuz they're at home

Cowboys, they have TO, so nothing bad can ever happen to them

Jets, the Vikes managed to become an opposite team in a few short years. They went from full O to only D

Jags

Pack

Bears

Saints

Steelers

Ravens

Pats

Fins

Broncos

Giants

Rams

Chargers

Colts

Taco Thursday

Dirty Sea Birds

Kyky 15.1

I love the S'Hawks in a game that will be about as interesting as Britney Spears flashing her unmentionables to photographers. (Shudder).

Who squeezed the Cheese?

Un-bull-eve-a-bull! I'm not talking about the Chicago Bulls. I'm talking about the fact that I went balls to the wall last week. I had the best picks in the leagues, thought I had a killer rant, and was the only one to even post and ugly album. How many props do I get? Goose egg. I am glad that finally Mr. Butter got some props, he's rant last week was terREXic. What more can one do? I guess I'll just be that silent stud. That one that wins the whole league and at the end everone is like "Brown, is just a great player and an incredibly humble guys, I love him." I'm fine with that. BTW - Leg you don't have to always be so mad that the Bears are awesome and be jealous that Angelo picked up Devin Hester (rookie pro bowler and record braker). I don't understand how Hester doesn't impress you. You don't have to take the Pat's lose to Joey Harrington out on the Bears.

Picks:Dallas at Atlanta - Atlanta and the metapause kids
Cleveland at Baltimore - Baltimore by a killing
Detroit at Green Bay - Packers
Houston at New England - Patroids
Jacksonville at Tennessee - Jax
Miami at Buffalo - Miami and the Joey's
N.Y. Jets at Minnesota - Vike's
Pittsburgh at Carolina - Pitts
Tampa Bay at Chicago - Chicago (the city of Champions)
Washington at New Orleans - Saints by infinity
Denver at Arizona - Denver by a mile (high)
Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants - Eagles
St. Louis at Oakland - Rams
Kansas City at San Diego - Chargers
Cincinnati at Indianapolis - Colts

Bring it N8!

Larson: Week 15 Picks

Seattle over San Francisco
Dallas over Atlanta
Minnesota over NY Jets
New Orleans over Washington
New England over Houston
Pittsburgh over Carolina
Chicago over Tampa Bay
Baltimore over Cleveland
Miami over Buffalo
Green Bay over Detroit
Tennessee over Jacksonville
Arizona over Denver
NY Giants over Philadelphia
St. Louis over Oakland
San Diego over Kansas City
Indianapolis over Cincinnati

Yes.

N8

Dell is my daddy

If you haven't read Dell's post yet, go do it. NOW. And you should read Lem's post pretty carefully.

I was going to try countering Dell's ranting, but I don't have the time, and I only thought of a Jesse Jackson-based rant about how the NFL is a conspiracy against black players. Oh well.

I love Bungholes over Raidahs
I love Vikes over Kitties
I love Raves over Chefs
I love Pats over Fins
I love Falsucks over Bucs
I love Skins over Uggles
I love Pants over G-men
I love Colts over Jags
I love Tits over Texis
I love S'hawks over Cards
I love Nines over puckers
I love J-E-T-S over Bill-ohs
I love Bolts over Bacos
I love Boys over Saints
I love Burrs over Ramoids

Atlanta over Tampa Bay
Philadelphia over Washington
Panthers over Giants
Indianapolis over Jacksonville
Dolphins over Pats
Minnesota over Detroit
Chiefs over Ravens
Tennessee over Houston
Cincinnati over Oakland
Seattle over Arizona
San Fran over the Pack
San Diego over Denver
NY Jets over Buffalo
Cowbosy over Saints
Chicago over St. Louis

Taco 14

Taco has decided that since the Leg has made previous weeks rant points in play why not go with previous years? I don’t think that the Leg has drafted any sort of binding contract or document where that is prohibited, so Taco would like a few of his posts from previous years to be included. So for frame of reference please see the bottom post from a week where Taco made all his picks in a “lighting” frame of mind. Please keep in mind that this is just one of the entire weeks picks that was like this, but Taco would like to interject that these are kept in status.

The other Inappropriate Indian references against the men. This is a tough onebeing that both teams are in the hunt, and the other inappropriate Indianreferences are coming off a tough loss last week to the boys. The men areslightly over rated. Camaro feels like this game is like lighting coming downbetween Freebs and Kasey (Mod was ousted when Dave decided to turn around anddo the ol' double out, he clanged it off the ceiling at Roseville Cov, whichcaused a pause in the game as the storm of plaster and dust off the ceiling wasoverwhelming. Lars was out do to the made shot and Mod was behind him...Anyway I digress) it could go either way, but I feel as though Dave would feelmore at home at Roseville Cov being he's getting married there, but Kasey istough on the road and let's face it he generally always wins anyway. Kasey andthe inappropriate Indian references by 3.

Ok with that said, know to this weeks pics:


I hate the Bucs but I like them to upset Hotlanta on the road

I saw Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto last night, and while I have some unanswered questions about the time frame and the general ideologies I can’t argue with one of the scenes towards the end where a panther chases down and rips apart someone… That is what Peppers is going to do to Eli Manning. Black Cats win.

I Like the Horses to rebound on the road. This should be a great game, but Manning and Comp. Will not let it slip away.

I love the Patriotic Men to take care of the Tuna Fish

I love Edgar Allen Poe to stick it to the Other Inappropriate Indian References

I love Hometown Buffet to get in some sort of pics this week

I love Remember the Titans to continue their run and take care of the worst team name ever

I love the Bungles at home against Al Davis

I love the Red Birds to upset the Dirty Sea Birds at home

I love the 9ers to get it done against the Pack

I love the Bolts at home against the B’cos

I love the Planes to win at home against the Bills

I love the Boys to take care of business at home

I love Rex Grossman to throw three interceptions in the first half and for some reason not be benched by a coach who for some reason thinks that Rex has anything to do with this team being 10-2, yet the Bears still hang on because the Defense will literally kill three of the Rams players by knocking their heads off, and Hester will return a kick for a TD, and once again Grossman will get bailed out.

I hate this game but love the Vikings by virtue of the Lions want Brady Quinn and Millan will use a pick way to early to get him, so risking not losing him.

Week 14 - MoPhats

So lets be honest i can't rant... I do not have the ability to type hilarity like you guys do. But i do love football and dedicate the vast majority of Sundays to it. So therefore i'm just going to analyze some games and you're going to have to deal with it...


Atlanta over Bucs: Falcons are in the hunt for a wild card bid. I don't think they have a chance to move ahead of the Saints but they will make a run for it.

Baltimore over KC: Baltimore needs a W to get back on the right track and stay ahead of the Bengals, KC just doesn't have the total package this year.

Colts over Jags: After and L last week the need to play well to take one away from the Jags who need a W to keep in the wild card hunt in the AFC

Viks over Lions: Lions are horrendous, thats all that needs to be said

Pats over Dolphins

Panthers over Giants: The Giants are going downhill fast but Carolina is in a do or die situation for the AFC wildcard

Bengals over Raiders: nuff said

Eagles over Skins: the eagles proved last week that they can still with with out McNab

Tenn over Houston

9ers over Pack: educated guess

Seahawks over Cards

Jets over Bills

Chargers over Broncos: Cutler doesn't have what it takes, yet

Saints over Cowboys: I hate the Cowboys and already don't like Romo even though he is a south sider

Da Bears over Rams: With Greise coming in for the second half, prediction, we will see why Grossman is our number 1.

Week 14.5 - MoPhats

Steelers over Brownies

Mod - Week 14

I'll go with the Steelfest tonight.

Rant and more picks to come......

Larson: Week 14 Picks

I will win this week. I will.

Pittsburgh over Cleveland
Atlanta over Tampa Bay
Philadelphia over Washington
NY Giants over Carolina
Indianapolis over Jacksonville
New England over Miami
Minnesota over Detroit
Baltimore over Kansas City
Tennessee over Houston
Cincinnati over Oakland
Seattle over Arizona
Green Bay over San Francisco
San Diego over Denver
NY Jets over Buffalo
New Orleans over Dallas

And finally:

Chicago over St. Louis

Yaaaay!

N8

Taco Early Edition

I like the Poop

Steve Goold was a meat cutter at OCB

First things first....Worst album cover

Buffet, you better bring your A game! You know that Steve Goold brought his A game everytime he cut meat at Old Country Buffet. You know I brought my A game when I was busing table's at De' Bier Stube'. You know MOD brought his A game a Bakers Square when he brought you that huge Carmal Apple with Ice Cream creation. You know that Lars brought his D- game when he was making Subs at Subcity. You know that Nate Larson brought his A+ game when he was signing autographs as Clear's guitarist. You know that Kyky brought his A game when he married Michell. You know that Peter never brings his A game in B-Ball. You know that Splash is alway going to want to talk draft picks and trade's if the possiblities are there. YOu know that Berg is going to commit to WDYL for 2 weeks.

Cleveland poo at Pittsburgh smelters - I love the Smelters here. What the *^&! The former champs should be able to defect a small peice of you know what!

Mylanta at Tampa Bay - I guess the Falcor's. If Atrayuh could get past those giant naked death statue's and reach the oracle then what chance does Tampa have of being totally awesome? None, my friend. none.....

Baltz at KC and the sundance kids - I'm picking the Balts to win this one. Grandma ma is going to have a tough time against that balt d-fense and Ray Lewis is probably going to be wearing Peter's clothing screaming "We must protect this house!". Good luck KC. I get scared just thinking about it.

Indianapolis at Jacksonville - Colts will win. The colts have the a bit of a smaller chance of winning that I do against Buffet.
Raping and Pilaging Swedes at the Motorheads - I like the Loins here. Plus Kitna is a Christian.

New England at Miami - Wow! I'm going with Miami! They just confuse good teams and they get offenses frustrated. Jason Lens and the D-fins will eat the Pat's for dessert or desert. I don't know.

N.Y. Giants at Carolina - I love the Giants here. If you are a good friend of mine, then you will know that I Love Chris Weinke. But, I also know that he sucks. Giant win by 7.

Oakland at Cincinnati - ummm the worst F-ball team ever will not win this game. Did the Grandmah's win a game? NO! Did the 99 Bulls win a game? Yes! Did Janet Jackson show her boob to the world? Yes!

Philadelphia at Washington - I love Philly. Doesn't anyone else think of Philly Cheese Steak sandwich every single time that Philly is mentioned. My mouth is watering. So good!

Tennessee at Houston - I love the Breasts. Let's face it breasts are probably one of God's best inventions and I don't see them losing to the Houston Texans.

Green Bay at San Francisco - I'm going with San Fran here. Good game though. Al Gore vs. Brett Micheals. Miner vs. Meat Packer. Two tuff dudes. One slaying animals. One finding gold nuggets

Seattle at Arizona - I love Seattle here. What does Arizon have to offer other than delicious tea and crappy jeans. Seattle has Microsoft, coffee, Fraser Crane, and my Grandpa Bill. Seattle by 10.

Buffalo at N.Y. Jets - I love the Bills. No Comment.

Denver at San Diego - I love the Chargers. LT and the Joann's son Philip should be able to handle the mile high boyz.

New Orleans at Dallas - I love New Orleans. This is totally the game of the week. The two hottest QB's in the league. The #2 and #3 ranked teams in the NFC. Brees vs. Romo. I just pee'd in my pants a little and threw up in my mouth a tiny amount.

Chicago at St. Louis - I love Chicago. I really do. I love the Bulls. I love the Bears. I love the Shedd Aquarium. I love that dude outside ONO's pizza asking people for leftovers.

BUTTER 14

Is that a Tang juicebox in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Well the QB situation in Chicago has begun to tumble out of control and even a homer like me can see if this problem isn't rex-tified we'll make an early rex-it from the rex-offs. Sexy Rexy has lost his mojo. We all remember the display he put on in the beginning of the season and know what he can do. I think the Bears need to stick with him, the question is, can he find himself in time. This is kinda like that movie Mr. Baseball (1992) where Tom Selleck plays an aging baseball star who's lost all of his mana. So what does he do? Does he freak-out and shave his gorgeous 70s porn-star mustache? No, shaving the mustache is never the answer. He gets traded to a Japanese baseball team and becomes immersed in the eastern culture. He eats a lot of rice, takes some nice warm baths and makes love to an Asian woman while trying to win her father's approval by embracing the eastern way of life. He rediscovers his "chi" or as we westerners put it "mojo" and starts sluggin again. So what do we take from this? Here is what Rex must do to regain Sexy Rexy status:
1. Grow a mustache
2. Eat rice
3. Make love to an Asian woman
4. Try to make her father like him
5. Take baths

To sum it up, this is what he must do:

Problem solved. On to the picks:

STEALERZ beat the poops. Season's over, now it's time to beat the crap out of some weak teams.

RAVENS hit stick the chiefs. Looks like Jamal Lewis has discovered the "all new lead blocker feature in Madden 07." Netting him some extra yardage and great progression.

TENN. TIGHTS haudukan the houston toxins. Funny, ever since Haynesworth stomped on a man while he was on the ground the tights have been a much better team... coincidence... I think not. MOD, any thoughts on that?

CAROLINA PANTS-ERS steve smith the giants. If smith were any taller there'd be rules against him being in the league. Added bonus, the pants-ers have a QB controvery of their own. Doesn't feel so good, does it? Is it too late to coax Joe Theisman out of retirement? What if you offer him two Chalupas and a ball park frank with sweet relish?

CINCINASTY BURGLES will ocho cinco the raiders. The chance of the raiders offense showing up are about as good as those for getting Buffet to stop watching Saved by the Bell: The New Class reruns and laying down a quality rant.

SKINS will father a child and call him- eagles lose. Upset city here.

FALCONS lay a big mamma vick egg on the bucs.

PEYTON-PONIES will soil the jags. They'll get gashed for 220 rushing yards, but will win none the less

MINNESLOWTA DIKE-INGS will cross dress the lions. I think I've figured out that the vikes are just a poor man's version of the bears.

NEW ENGLAND PATRICKS will pat the fins in a firm, but loving way... and joey harrington will be all-right with that.

9ERS will melt the green-bay-farve-cheesers.

SEATTLE BEST COFFEE-HAWKS will brew up a special house blend of cardinal. I recommend they add some whipped creme to it too, because that's the best part and you've earned it.

BENNIE AND THE JETS will serve up some buffalo wild wings. The game will start with them throwing girlie punchs at each-other and won't be resolved till they resort to pulling hair and ripping each-other's blouses

BOLTS will fillet up some Jay Cutlet. The rookie QB will meet an angry black man who goes by Merry-man, who is juiced up with some hulkish power found within the human growth hormone. With his natural ability plus the cheater's drugs he'll be prancing around like the Juggernaut.

TERRELL ROMO-HOMOS will blow out the gentle breese. Should be an interesting match.

RUMBLIN TUMBLIN GRUMBLIN BEARS will sink their ferocious talons into the rammies. Remember the Hawaiian Punch commercials from back in the 80s. That huge pitcher of kool-aide that busts through the wall and says "oh-yeah." Of course you do. That will be Urlacher busting through walls in all his hawaiian punchy-ness. Making tackles all over the place and busting through Orlando Paces. OOOOOOOOOHHH YEEEAAH!

Kyky 14.1

I LOVE STEEL over Shite

And Timmb, that is the most disturbing picture I've seen since that devil-looking dog.

Back to paper writing...

Bring it buffet

Buffet, I hate you guts if you don't battle me this week

Back to Back!

So bring on New Orleans, bring on Dallas, this is for Lovie and Papa Bear Halas

I love the Bears over the Viqueens.
Chiefs over the Poop
Chargers over Bills
Colts over the Titties.
Falcons over Skins
Pats over the Lions
Rams over Cardinals
Saints over 49'ers
Texans over Raiders
Cowboys over Giants
Steelers over Bucs
Seahawks over Broncos
Panthers over Eagles
Jags over Dolphins
Jets over Packers

Week 13 - MoPhats

Cards over Rams
Falcons over skins
Pats over Lions
Colts over Titans
Chiefs over Browns
Bears over Viks
Jet over Pack
Chargers over Bills
Saints over 9ers
Texans over Raiders
Dolphins over Jags
Boys over Giants
Steelers over Bucs
Broncos over Seahawks

Taco's Bakers Dozen

Taco is sitting here wondering why the farf he continues to lose by virtue of rant point. Granted this has not been Taco's best year in regard to rants, but still Stromberg has it out for Taco. If I ever play the Buffet and somehow (if he decides to play a week) tie him and than lose by virtue of rant point, I will take the Leg outside behind the woodshed and kick his ass at Chinese checkers. Than again if I ever tie with the Buffet I deserve to lose because let's face it there is no chance of him getting his pics in. Also it has come to my attention that my early post went for the trifecta so I thought that maybe that should just be my thing from now on...
To the pics:

I love the Other Inappropriate Indian References to get it done against Poop. Has poop ever won a game?

I love the Bolts to get it done on the road against the Bills. LT is going to have 9 Td's all inside 2 yds. Stat line. 21 carries, 11 yds, 11 Td's (2 rec)

I love the Horses to upend the red hot Remember the Titans. I rented Glory Road who incidentally is by the same production company as Remember the Titans. Even though I have it for over a week, I'll probably never have a chance to watch it. Awesome Disney.

I love the Planes to upset the Pack in GB

I love the Inappropriate Indian References to get it done against a turmoil filled Hotlanta team

I love the John Adams and Benjamin Franklin against the Motor City Kitties

I love the Rams to sock it to the Red Birds

I love Kyky to take out Mod in Arm Wrestling

I love the Saints to take it to the 9ers

I love the worst team name over the Raiders

I love the Jags over the Fins

I love Taco Tuesday over Tim on the B-ball court

I love The Boys over the Men

I love the Inappropriate Steel Union Workers References to get it done against the Pirates

I love the B'cos to get it done at home

I love the Black Cats to handle the Patriotic Birds

I love Hometown Buffet at a retreat

and finally I love the Purple to get it done on the road in snowy Chitown. I have to wear a damn Bears jersey tomorrow, but I will say this: If it is to returned to its owner filled with Diet Cherry Coke and naco cheese sauce don't say I didn't warn you Freeburg.

Kyky - 13.2

I feel like a complete ass for wimping out, but homework is proving too urgent. Procrastination gets me every time.

I LOVE RUMS over cards
I LOVE SKINS over falsucks
I LOVE PATS over kitties
I LOVE COLTIES over teets
I LOVE CHEFS over shite
I LOVE BURRS over vikes
I LOVE PUCKERS over j-e-t-s
I LOVE BOLTS over bison
I LOVE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE over niners
I LOVE TEXIS over black
I LOVE BOYS over g-men
I LOVE STEEL over bucaroos
I LOVE BACOS over s'hawks
I LOVE PANTS over uggles

Lem, my wife says hi.

Week 13 - MoPhats Part 1

Ravens over Bengals: Because purple is prettier than orange

Week 13 Part 1

In honor of TT's triple post I will pick the Ravens Ravens Ravens.

Holy crap guys game tonight? Why? Oh ya, it's bring your dog to work day! That's super neat! Hey ohh, enough bullcrappin' on to the pick a-ruskis.
Baltimore at Cincinnati - I like the Cin's in this battle. A little extra CINnamin in there CINcinnati chili equals a win tonight. GO BEARS!
Arizona at St. Louis - I love the Ram here. D Green has created the most demoralizing environment ever. Thank the Lord we didn't elect him as president.
Atlanta at Washington - I love Mylanta. Sure Vick is crappy one week and amazing the next. I think this is going to be an "amazing" week.
Detroit at New England - I'm giving this to the Pats, although I think the Loins will give them a good game. Who could vote against the best looking QB ever! That's right Kordell...I said it!
Indianapolis at Tennessee - Oh gee whiz! I love the Colts here. Tennessee has been on the up and up, but Danny Manning and the boyz have got there stuff together.
Kansas City at Cleveland - I like the Browns here. I don't know why. I'm just feeling like the Brown's have the HASH line in this one.
Minnesota at Chicago - I love Chicago, and I'm predicting and open field missed tackle by winfield.
N.Y. Jets at Green Bay - I like the Favre's, cause they are the Favre's and aren't the Packers.
San Diego at Buffalo - I love the Chargers. LT will score three TD's while watching Golden Girls inside of his viser.
San Francisco at New Orleans - I love the Saints
Houston at Oakland - I love Oakland
Jacksonville at Miami - I love Miami and there awesome defense
Dallas at N.Y. Giants - I love Dallas. Man the gants blow!
Tampa Bay at Pittsburgh - I love the Stealers
Seattle at Denver - I love Denver
Carolina at Philadelphia - I love Carolina

Kyky - 13.1

Sure. On the heels of almost getting a rant point comes the busiest week of the semester. And I'm up against the Lem, to boot. Plus, this Thursday game idea blows for pick 'em and fantasy--last week is barely over. It's about as awesome as spending quality rehearsal time with TLarson during Guys & Dolls. Lem, I know you feel me on this.

Lem, I will refer you to the Bethel Choir song you directed during your senior year, "Death is gonna lay its cold, icy hands on me." Now replace 'me' with 'you'. Boom.

I LOVE RAVES over Bengholes: Air McNair and the Rave offense is looking alright, but they'll look like Lem's luscious curls against a pretty weak Benghole defense.

More later, Lem. It's only just begun.

PS - I find it awesome that Peter has posted the exact same thing three times. I love you, Peter!

Taco Early Edition

So rumor has it that there is a game tonight. As much as I wanted to make all my picks right now, I need to consult with Hometown Buffet first to see who he would pick this week.

I love Edgar Allen Poe over the Bungles

Taco Early Edition

So rumor has it that there is a game tonight. As much as I wanted to make all my picks right now, I need to consult with Hometown Buffet first to see who he would pick this week.

I love Edgar Allen Poe over the Bungles

Taco Early Edition

So rumor has it that there is a game tonight. As much as I wanted to make all my picks right now, I need to consult with Hometown Buffet first to see who he would pick this week.

I love Edgar Allen Poe over the Bungles

Week 13: Larson's Picks

Here's what I got:

Baltimore over Cincinnati
Minnesota over Chicago
Kansas City over Cleveland
San Diego over Buffalo
Indianapolis over Tennessee
Green Bay over NY Jets
Atlanta over Washington
New England over Detroit
St. Louis ove Arizona
New Orleans over San Francisco
Houston over Oakland
Jacksonville over Miami
Dallas over NY Giants
Pittsburgh over Tampa Bay
Denver over Seattle
Philadelphia over Carolina

Yaaaay!

N8

A thin layer of BUTTER for week 13

Just have to get these in before Thurs. If I have time I'll into a part duex complete w/ rants.

Ravens
Colts
Rams
Bears
Jets
Saints
Chargers
Chiefs
Falcons
Patriots
Dolphins
Texans
Steelers
Cowboys
Broncos
Panthers

Have a turkific day

Guys,
I had some technology trouble over the weekend. I went to submit my picks and ran into a security block on my Dad's stupid computer. So, I emailed my picks before the game to Craiger's and Splash. Neither of them received them though (I found this out last night). So, I checked my sent mail folder. Nothing there! Then I checked my drafts and it was there. So, here they are. I've you declare this a big pile of poop I don't care that much cause my picks sucked any way. The Bears lost and my fanasty football team lost by 39 points while I had Addai (44 pts) sitting on the bench doing nothing for me.
Miami at Detroit - I love Miami
Tampa Bay at Dallas - I love Dallas
Denver at Kansas City - I love Denver
Arizona at Minnesota - I love Denny Green and the Cardz
Carolina at Washington - I love Carolina
Cincinnati at Cleveland - I love Cin
Houston at N.Y. Jets - I love the Jets
Jacksonville at Buffalo - I love Buffalo
New Orleans at Atlanta - I love the Saints
Pittsburgh at Baltimore - I love the Balts
San Francisco at St. Louis - I love the Rams
Oakland at San Diego - I love the Chargers
Chicago at New England - I love Chicago
N.Y. Giants at Tennessee - I love the Giants
Philadelphia at Indianapolis - I love the Eagles
Green Bay at Seattle - I love Seattle

Kyky v. 12.2

After lots of eating, sleeping and buying Seinfeld Season 6 on DVD for $20, I'm feeling good about Sunday.

I LOVE VIKES over Cards: How sweet it is that Denny Green is coming back to the Metro-toilet. How awesome would it be if people wore the "F*** You, Green" shirts that floated around Minnesota for a while after Norm Green moved the North Stars down to Dallas.

I LOVE PANTS over Skins: Because pants go over skin in real life. And because Jason Campbell is going to be decapitated by Julius Peppers.

I LOVE BENGHOLES over Shite: Chad Johnson has been playing out of his yellow-hued head lately. In a related story, police picked Johnson up on Wednesday, mistaking him for tax-evading movie star Wesley Snipes.

I LOVE J-E-T-S over Texis: New Yorkers are dumbstruck when they find out that Joe Namath is actually gay, and still wears pantyhose under his own volition.

I LOVE JAGS over Bison: Though it has nothing to do with this game, Chris Kaman and Sam Cassell make up the ugliest duo in the history of sports. Yikes!

I LOVE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE over Falsucks: My hatred for the Falsucks continues. I hate the Falsucks like Peter hates awkward silence.

I LOVE RAVES over Steel: If we want to see the epitome of the "football player gone to seed" lifestyle, we merely have to look at Jerome Bettis. He should be called the RV.

I LOVE RUMS over Frisco burgers: I actually like Frisco sandwiches much more than rum, but I can't base all my decisions on outside preference.

I LOVE BOLTS over Raidahs: I heart LaDanian Tomlinson.

I LOVE BURRS over Pats: The game of the week. Pats are playing on new turf, and I think it'll take some getting used to for them. Can we call Roger Goodell and get a rule banning the "homeless guy" look from the sidelines? 'Ole Bill looks just stupid.

I LOVE TITS over G-men: This could be misconstrued in a variety of ways, but I'll stick to it.

I LOVE COLTS over Uggles: Even with McNabb, the Eagles only had a smallish chance. The Colts should take the cake on this one. Madden will choke on turducken and mastufams.

I LOVE S'HAWKS over Puckers: Seattle has truly become Vladivostok. The Puckers, used to ghastly weather, may actually do okay.

I made my own "F*** You, Green MOD" shirt that I'll be wearing all day tomorrow. I'll wear a sport coat over it to church.

Turkducken with BUTTER - Week 12

Well as this has gone on I've had many mentions, but to my dismay no rant points. Alas, a bright star shines in the distance. This week Leg listed to formula to a pointworthy rant, so with-out any further delay...

A little pop culture:
Inspired by OJ Simpson I wrote a couple new books this week. To my mom I gave my new book titled "The Cookie I didn't take from the jar and how I would have taken and eaten the cookie, had I actually done it." For my little brother Alex I wrote the book, "Remember the time we were playing Madden and you were beating me, so I didn't take out all your starters and replace them with back-ups while you were at the bathroon, but if I did this is how I would have done it." It felt good to get those un-confessions, not off my chest.

Mention Throw-up:
There is nothing funnier than watching a cat puke. Think of the last time you saw a cat work-up a hairball or any random puke and sit back and laugh at that agonizing heave.

Cite an 80s band:
I feel the need to mention the solo hit Rock-me Amedeaus, by 80s rock stand-out Falco. If you haven't heard it make arrangements. I also challenge you to remember Rick Assley wearing a nice tight pair of Marty McFly style tapered jeans. Are tapered pants sexy or what? When worn tight enough people can see your junk and also the top of your hightop shoes.

Make fun of Peter:
Hey Peter remember that time that me you and T were doing Jedi training push-ups in Bethel. It was very clear that you weren't strong in the force at all. You probably have only 3 or 4 Medaclorines. I feel sorry for you that Yoda will probably never promote you from Padawan. The Jedi-knights get all the lightsaber action and babes. Sux to be you.

Reference the Buf:
The Buf has been a no-show for a few weeks in a row which can mean only 1 thing: Applebees brought back half-price appetizers. Maybe if we all put a call into Applebees we can get them to take away this delicious offer we can fanagle a rant out of Buf about his "brain-like" nipples.

FINS
COWBOYS - the flappin jaws are lovin the cowboys now after the big win, but give them a couple weeks and they'll lose another game they should have won at the last second. As the pressure mounts on Tony Romo while he tries to juggle being the QB of ego-land and running a restaraunt, even if it is "the place for ribs"
BRONCOS - This a game that could go both ways, can you go both ways too?
RAMS
VIKES - I don't know why I'm picking a team that can't score, but it just seem like they should win.
PANTHERS
BENGALS
JETS
JAGS
SAINTS - with the pass rush the Falcons are getting these days Mophats would look Micheal Vick ellusive against them
STEELERS - upset pick. look for the Steelers to get hot again. Not Arby's 5 for $5 hot, but still pretty hot
CHARGERS
GIANTS
BEARS - the pats can really bring it and look scary good at times, and at other times it seems like Belly-check is too busy playing Paperboy for NES. They'll be a tuff test for the Bears. Why isn't this game on at 8???
COLTS - McNabb is out... the Eagles McSeason is McDone
SEAHAWKS

End Stong:
It's Thanksgiving and I think we should take a moment and toast John Madden for Turkducken. That delicious looking turkey that madden named as only he can. Instead of naming it some kind of name that indicates what it is, madden decided it's best described as a turkey (which it is) and a duck (which has nothing to do with it). I love Madden for that. I also love how he whores himself out to a football game year after year, how he played football and rides in the Madden bus hundreds of miles across the country every week, but shivers in his man-thong at the thought of flying. Madden this Turkducken is for you. I can't wait to have some Hamducken in Christmas.

Week 12 - MoPhats

Happy Thanksgiving to all---- Get Your Sweatpants out and enjoy two of the best things in life Food and Football...

Hey tim, member when i would beat the crap out of you on the basketball court and you would get really pissed off at me? Yea you sucked at picking games back then too...


Dolphins over Lions
Cowboys over Bucs
Cheifs over Broncos - UPSET
Viks over Cards - going to be close
Panthers over Skins
Bengals over Browns
Texans over Jets: jets are shell shocked after Da Bears
Jags over Bills
Saints over Falcons
Ravens over Steelers
9ers over Rams
Charges over Raiders
Da Bears over Pats - Sorry Lards, it's gonna happen, death to brady
Giants over Titians
Colts over Eagles

Thanksgiving Taco style

Ok ok this week is going to be really lame, I have to appologize. I have a few things to get done tonight and I am running in the Turket Trot tomorrow morning, so you will get the picks and a brief question to anyone who may have recently seen the Buffet than the quick picks. Has anyone seen the Buf?

To the picks:

Motor City Kitties
Boys
B'cos
Bungles
Jags
Edgar Allan Poe
Saintly figures
Black Cats
Rams
Vikes (Is this game worse than the Lions/Fins?... It is quite possibly so. Atleast Larry Fitzgerald is coming home. He called and asked me for a ride to the Dome).
Planes
Bolts
Patriotic Men
Remember the Titans
Horses
Dirty Sea Birds

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

Kyky v.12.1

I'm going to split up my picks this week between the Thanksgiving games and the Sunday games. I have no good reason for this other than general laziness on a Wednesday evening.

I LOVE LOINS over Fins: Who doesn't remember the writers of Home Improvement throwing in the token Detroit Lions reference every now and again. I think Tim even went to a game (and shut off the stadium's power) during a Thanksgiving episode one year. By the end of the 3rd quarter, we're going to wish the power were off.

I LOVE BOYS over Bucs: "Extra! Extra! TO not sending Donovan a get-well text message!" This was essentially the headline that appeared on ESPN.com the other day. Who the hell cares? Is ESPN so infatuated with TO that it feels the need to cover his text messaging exploits? Good grief. The Boys are just better--and they're at home.

I LOVE CHEFS over Bacos: Not even the Justice League could beat the Chefs at Arrowhead.

Be safe out there on what Michael Richards would call 'Afro-American' Friday.

Week 12 - Gobblemod

Miami vs. Detroit - I love WDYL alum Joey Harrington and the Dolphins this week over the Lions. You guys remember last year at the WDYL Christmas party when Joey let one go while we were posing for this picture. That son of a gun had some wrecked gas that night and you can see Lars getting the first whiff. Way to be a trooper Lars.

Tampa Bay vs. Dallas - I love the Cowboys to keep on rolling against the Bucs. So Tony Romo is supposedly seeing Jessica Simpson. If you thought Bill Parcells was tough in bed, wait until you get ahold of Jessica Mr. Romo.

Denver vs. Kansas City - I love the Chiefs over the Broncos. I can never predict the Chiefs right. So I'm actually going against what I think will happen here and hoping it turns out gold.

Carolina vs. Washington - I love the Panthers this week over the Skins.

Pittsburgh vs. Baltimore - I love the Ravens to stick a fork in the Steelers.

New Orleans vs. Atlanta - I love the Saints to be less crappy on defense than the Falcons.

Jacksonville vs. Buffalo - I love the Jags this week over the Bills. I feel like picking the Jags is getting right up their with the Falcons. Who knows anymore. Buffalo is proud to present in honor of OJ Simpson, the "We never won a Super Bowl, but if we did.. here's how we would celebrate" fan night. Must be fun to be a Bills fan.

Arizona vs. Minnesota - I love the Vikings to get a win and perhaps their last win over the hapless Cardinals. Alright, stomping on the Vikings when they are down isn't the best thing to talk about so I won't.

Houston vs. NY Jets - I love the Jets to rebound over the Texans. What the Tex is wrong with Houston, I hate them.

Cincinnati vs. Cleveland - I love the Bengals over the Browns this week. Palmer and Johnson both wake up but they were playing two of the worst pass defenses in the league. The poop stains at least are somewhat respectable on D...... (pause)....... not.

San Francisco vs. St. Louis - I love the 49'ers over the Rams. Looks like losing Pace for the year is gonna hurt the Rams a whole lot. Getting shut out shouldn't happen with the weapons they have on offense.

Oakland vs. San Diego - Chargers over the Raiders in the no-brainer selection of the week.

NY Giants vs. Tennessee - This could be a tricky game but I think the Giants will get their act together here against the Tits.

Chicago vs. New England - Best test for the Bears all year, which means the best Bears victory all year.

Philadelphia vs. Indianapolis - Gotta love the Colts here. Sucks for NBC as they switched to this game thinking that McNabb vs. Peyton would be a sweet game... well not anymore.

Green Bay vs. Seattle - I love the Seahawks this week over the Packers. Looks like Hasselbeck and Alexander are both back now... (sarcasm) Print those super bowl tickets!!(sarcasm)

Weak 12 Picks...and I DO mean "weak".

Hello, everybody! We're well into the meat grinder part of the season, the part where making our picks can become a chore, as opposed to a joy. Stay strong! (This coming from the guy who's missed at least three or four weeks of picks.)

So, here I go, being disciplined. Plus, I like you Lars, and I know that you're the only guy who reads my picks, because they're boring and not that good. Remember the good old days when I would put time into my rants?

Detroit over Miami
Dallas over Tampa Bay
Denver over Kansas City
Cincinnati over Cleveland
Jacksonville over Buffalo
Pittsburgh over Baltimore
New Orleans over Atlanta
Washington over Carolina
St. Louis over San Francisco
Minnesota over Arizona
NY Jets over Houston
San Diego over Oakland
New England over Chicago
Tennessee over NY Giants
Indianapolis over Philadelphia

And finally,

Seattle over Green Bay

Peace...and Lars, keep loving your wife.

Nater

Mod - Week 11

Ravens
Texans
Bears
Saints
Dolphins
Patriots
Chiefs
Steelers
Panthers
Eagles
Bucs
Lions
Seahawks
Colts
Broncos
Jags

Kyky - Week 11

The NFL has been crazy this year--and not the good kind of crazy. I've heard many of the 'mediocre-players-turned-mediocre-analysts' tout the parity of the league, but parity isn't necessarily a good thing. The reason there's parity is every team other than the Colts (and maybe the Bears) is more inconsistent than a grandma who forgets to take her fiber and prune juice. Oh well--I guess that makes picking more of a challenge.

Larson: I'm going to own you like Democrats owned the Republicans on election day.

RAVES over Falsuckers: I'm damn close to picking against the Falsucks for the rest of the year.
TEXIS over Bison: This will be like TomKat's wedding on Saturday: they don't have any legitimate friends, so they have to pay big-time celebs to pay attention to them.
BURRS over j-e-t-s: Even if the wrong Sexy Rexy shows up, the Burrs should have this well in hand. Mangini can't lead the Jets to wins over the Pats and Bears on consecutive weeks.
BENG-HOLES over Righteous People
VIKES over Finitos
PATS over Puckers
CHEFS over Raidahs: If the Raidahs win at Arrowhead, I'm quitting Pick 'Em for the rest of the season. Even good teams can't win at Arrowhead.
STEEL over Shite
PANTS over Ramoids
UGGLES over Tits
BUCS over Skins: The Skins don't have Portis or Moss, and they're starting Jason Campbell. The Bucs, though, are starting Gradkowski. Yep, this has all the excitement of a romantic comedy between Tony Danza and Joan Cusack.
CARDS over Loins The only reason I would be happy with a Lions win is if Denny Green comes out and punches a microphone and says, "The Lions were who we thought they were!" after the game.
S'HAWKS over Niners
COLTS over Boys: Two things are likely: 1)It'll be a close game and 2) Bill Parcells will look pudgy in his ridiculously unflattering windbreaker.
BRONCS over Bolts: NBC is making other networks look silly with their flex scheduling brilliance.
JAGS over G-Men: Everybody on the G-men defense is injured, and the Jags are playing at home.

Taco 11

Taco’s run at the WDYL 06 title is like his gas after a greasy meal post gallbladder: Silent but deadly. No one was expecting Taco to sneak his way towards the top of the Baker division and after being hosed by a non-existent rant point by Lemke Taco has rebounded nicely. There has been some crazy sh$& going on in the NFL the past few weeks and this week is more uncertain than the Buffet’s whereabouts. Leg I appreciate your dedication and faith that you have shown in the Buf but I feel that he will disappoint in the end. There is no one who would like to see a Buffet post more than me, but I just don’t see it in the cards. I heard that Buffet made the trip to Columbus for the big OSU Mich. Match up this afternoon. Rumor has it that he was rooming around the Buckeyes sidelines with Cris Carter and Eddie George. Anyway to the picks:

Panthers over Rams
Bucs over Inappropriate Indian references
Bungles over Saints
Patriotic Birds over Remember the Titans
Bears over Planes
The other Inappropriate Indian References over the Men in Black
Patriotic Men over Pack
Inappropriate Steel Workers Union references over Poop
Ravens over Hotlanta
Worst name for a football team ever because you named it after the state over Bills
Red Birds over Motor City Kitties
Dirty Sea Birds over gold miners
Horses over Boys
Bolts over B’cos
Jags over Men And finally… V-I-K-E-S over Fins.

Green Eggz and Poop week 11/I can't believe Berg

I just sent my cat, Jennifur to ask the Buffet where he has been. She always fixes situations like these.



Atlanta at Baltimore = Balt's
Buffalo at Houston = Buffalo's
Chicago at N.Y. Jets = Bears
Cincinnati at New Orleans = Saints
Minnesota at Miami = Dolphins
New England at Green Bay = Pats
Oakland at Kansas City = Chef's
Pittsburgh at Cleveland = Brown's (wild pick of the week)
St. Louis at Carolina = Carolina
Tennessee at Philadelphia = Egz
Washington at Tampa Bay = Redforeskins
Detroit at Arizona = Loins
Seattle at San Francisco = Seattle
Indianapolis at Dallas = Dallas
San Diego at Denver = San Diego
N.Y. Giants at Jacksonville = Giants

Sorry for the lack of banter, I'm sick

Week 11- I can't believe it's not BUTTER

This week I gotta be quick and lame w/ my picks. Leg if you wanna give me a negative rant point for this I'll understand and take it like a bloke. So go ahead and put a delicious Jimmy Dean Sausage Biscuit in the microwave, because by the time it's hot and ready for you, you'll be done reading this.

BENGALS
TEXANS
PATS
CHIEFS
RAVENS
BEARS
STEELERS
PANTERS
EAGLES
BUCS
FINS
C-HAWKS
LIONS
COLTS
BRONCOS
GIANTS

I want to leave you with this thought. Having either claws or talons gives you a very powerful attack weapon. Don't underestimate it. A fist can inflict some damage, but claws can pierce and get under the skin, both stinging, tearing and demoralizing your foe. Do you think it's possible that in the olden days women started growing their nails long as a powerful line of defense rather than just a stylish, hip thing to do?...just something to think about.

Week 11 - MoPhats

Wow... Week 11, where did the time go?

Mr. Buffett, i once told you that i would never let the picture below out of my hands.. But due to our circumstances this week i felt it was necessary to let it out into the open. If you decide not to make any picks i understand... Well even if you do, you would be better off flipping a coin to decide them. Most of you might notice the setting of the pic and also the other ass, Enjoy.

And onto the picks:
Ravens over Falcons: you never know which vick will show up
Bills over Texans
Bear over Jets: Da Bears will dominate all of NY this year
Saints over Bengals: saints are going to make a statement with a win in this game
Viks over Phins
Pats over Pack
Chiefs over Raiders
Steelers over Browns: Steelers suck, Browns suck, well Steelers suck less
Panthers over Rams
Eagles over Titans
Bucs over Skins: going for the upset
Cards over Lions
Seahawks over 9ers
Colts over Boys
Broncos over Chargers: Best offense usually beats best defense, well i like upsets
Jags over Giants: Manning won't be able to get it together, still nightmares of certain Bears

And to the Bonus Pick: Ohio State over The Big Blue

Larson: Week 11 Picks

Hi, Lars! I hope you're loving your wife.

Moving on, not to mention moving up in the standings, here we go:

Carolina over St. Louis
Washington over Tampa Bay
New Orleans over cincinnati
Tennessee over Philadelphia
Chicago over NY Jets
Minnesota over Miami
Kansas City over Oakland
Green Bay over New England
Pittsburgh over Cleveland
Atlanta over Baltimore
Houston over Buffalo
Arizona over Detroit
Seattle over San Francisco
Indianapolis over Dallas
Denver at San Diego

And last, but not least,

NY Giants over Jacksonville

Enjoy, gents!

Nater

Kyky the 10th

Quick picks on a Sunday morning...

I LOVE TITS over Raves

I LOVE COLTS over Bison

I LOVE FALSUCKS over Poopies

I LOVE VIKES over Puckers

I LOVE JAGS over Texis

I LOVE FINS over Chefs

I LOVE PATS over J-e-t-s

I LOVE BOLTS over Bengholes

I LOVE KITTIES over Niners

I LOVE SKINS over Uglies

I LOVE BRONCS over Black

I LOVE CARDS over Boys

I LOVE STEEL over Righteous people

I LOVE S'HAWKS over Ramrods

I LOVE G-MEN over Burrs

I LOVE PANTS over Bucs

A return to ranting next week...

Ten sack of Tacos

Ok so last week was a huge disappointment, I mean the Vikes lose a PATHETIC game to the 9ers who were on pace to give up the most points in NFL history before the Purple rolled in and made them look like the Ravens and Bears combined, the Bears lose, but of course the purple can’t make up any ground, the GOP was whitewashed in the elections, and now my taxes are going up like the mercury in July, and to top it all off, I lost to Lemke in by rant point, and I can’t for the life of me find a rant that he gave. Is it because of his curly locks Stromberg? Just because I don’t have hair like Lemke or a tan like Freebone doesn’t mean… Ah hell it doesn’t mean anything. To the picks

I love the Patriotic men to rebound at home.

I love the Patriotic Birds to take care of the Inappropriate Indian References at home

I love Hotlanta to rebound at home against poop.

I love the Other Inappropriate Indian References to roll into the Fins and take them out.
It is possible that the Fins are the second best team in the league because they beat the mighty Bears, yet it is also possible that the Bears played a bad game, yet it is also possible that the Bears are overrated, yet it is also possible that next time I see Mophats I’m going to kick him in the nuts. Go Tim’s Penis.

I love the Motor City Kitties to do what the Purple couldn’t do last Sunday… Score on the 9ers and win

I love the Horses at home against the Bills. Manning will throw as many TD’s as he calls audibles which means he will throw 463 TD’s… Man that’s a lot of TD’s.

I love Edgar Allan Poe to roll into remember the Titans and take it to them.

I love the Jags to hand it to the Houston “we named our mascot after our state, because we were to dumb and lazy to think of anything else” Texans

I love the Chargers to roll in to Cinci and steal a W

I love Denver to get it done by the Bay

I love the Boys to bag a few red birds and get the win

I love the Rams to upset the Dirty Sea Birds on the road

I don’t love the Inappropriate Steel Workers Union References but I think they will win at home

I hate the Bears but they will rebound and beat the Men this week, because Hometown Buffet and Sobol are playing D line for the Men

I love the Black Cats to hand it to the Inappropriate Pirate References

Finally I love my Vikes, but I don’t like their chances to score on offense, but I do like some defense and a bunch of Longwell FG’s/ Vikes my 3

To the high school games:

5A:
Eden Prairie over St. Cloud Tech
Lakeville South over Rosemount
4A:
Totino-Grace over New Prague
St. Thomas Academy over Benilde
3A:
Lichfield over Glencoe-Silver Lake
Becker over Rochester Lourdes
2A:
Triton over Hawley
Moose Lake/Willow River over Winona Cotter and Luverne winner
1A:
Fertile-Beltrami over New Ulm Catherdral
Rushford-Peterson over Wabasso
9 Man:
Stephen-Argyle Central over Underwood
Perennial powerhouse Cromwell over Wheaton

Week 10 - Mod

Falcons over the Browns.
Chiefs over the Fish.
Vikes over the Pack.
Patriots over the J-E-T-S
Eagles over the Skins
Jags over the Texans
Bolts over the Bengals
Lions over the 49ers
Ravens over the Tits
Colts over the Bills
Broncos over Raiders
Cowboys over the Cardinals
Saints over the Steelers
Rams over the Seahawks
Bears over the G-Men
Panthers get it done against the Bucs.

Week 10 - MoPhats

Butter, I can't agree with you more. The "analyst's" and commentators flip flop more than a crooked politician on election day...

Ravens over Titans - Ravens will continue their run
Colts over Bills - manning should have to play with a patch over one eye just to make it fun
Falcons over Browns
Viks over Pack - the viks are going to bounce back
Jags over Texans
Cheifs over Dolphins
Pats over Jets
Chargers over Bengals - Should be a great game, bengals cannot operate as a team
Lions over 9ers
Eagles over Skins
Denver over Raiders
Boys over cards
Saints over Steelers - lets face it, the steelers are pretty terrible
Rams over Seahawks - going for the upset
Da Bears over Giants - giants are a little under the weather with some key injuries
Panthers over Bucs - Man the bucs are awful

time for a soggy BUTTERy slice of weak 10

Ok blokes, it's time to turn off your Roombas, lace up your Keds and let the ranting begin. Don't you just love todays football analysts. They have no consistency whatsoever. Each week they do a 540 (that's one 360 with a 180 after that to end up facing the opposite way). I find them and the whole thing laughable. Each week it's a completely different top 5 teams. One week someone's the greatest player and the next they suck. The most fun is to watch them change their song and dance each week about Vick.

A long time ago in a glaxy far far away rose a great new hope in announcing. Reared in the culture of football Joe Theisman came to be a great quarterback and has now risen in the ranks to Monday Night Football announcer. Has there ever been anyone more redunkulous. The man's a lunatic, it's like he's not even watching the same game. Joe Theisman this week I raise a toast to you.

VIKES over pack. Did they really loose to the 9ers? I give it to the Vikes since they're at home. P.S. Brad Childress, I hear Kyle Orton may be available for trade.

RAVENS over tits.

JAGS over tex.

CHEIFS over fins. Can the fins win without 5 freebees, I think not.

PATS over jets.

BENGS over bolts. I'm calling the rebound is starting right here, with growth hormone Merriman sitting out.

LIONS over 9ers.

EAGLES over skins.

COLTS over bills. Peyton is doing it alone this year. Let see what happens come playoff time.

FALCONS over browns. The dirty birds are denfinitely overratted on O and soft on D.

BRONCS over raids.

STEELERS over saints.

RAMS over s-hawks. The rams should be able to handle the seconds stringers and the towel boy.

COWBOYS over cards.

BEARS over giants. Last week was a give away, don't look for more of the same. The giants are torn up by injuries and sexy rexy should have time in the pocket.

PANTHERS over bucs. For any reason you want.

Week 10 - BE

I have a lot of work to do, so I'm going to be quick about this. William's I know that you will not play me in b-ball because you don't want to get destroyed. I understand, that is the same reason that avoid playing KG in one-on-one and the same reason I don't wrestle with the Nature Boy Rick Flair. Seriously Peter, if you don't grow some eggs soon no one is going to ever eat an omelette again.
Baltimore at Tennessee - I love Baltimore
Buffalo at Indianapolis - I love the Colts
Cleveland at Atlanta - I love Mylanta
Green Bay at Minnesota - I love the Vikings
Houston at Jacksonville - I love Jacksonville even though they have no QB and smell like natedell's butthole.
Kansas City at Miami - I love KC in this contest. If KC doesn't make 3 giant stupid mistakes, like fumbling a catch or droping the punt return, or passing the the cornerback's they'll be fine.
N.Y. Jets at New England - I love the Patriots, not as much as Lars though
San Diego at Cincinnati - I love the Chargers, not as much as Lars though
San Francisco at Detroit - I love Detroit
Washington at Philadelphia - I love Philly
Denver at Oakland - I love Denver
Dallas at Arizona - I love Arizona
New Orleans at Pittsburgh - I love New Orleans
St. Louis at Seattle - I love the Rams, and I know that MOD loves Seattle.
Chicago at N.Y. Giants - I love Chicago so so much
Tampa Bay at Carolina - I love Carolina

Weak 6 Picks: Bonus MNF Pick FREE: Nate Larson

Worst MNF game ever. Carolina over Tampa Bay.

N8

Weak 6 Picks: Nate Larson

Hey, everybody! Keeping in step with my "Pick One Week, Skip One Week" schedule, I'm back! Prepare to lose.

Without freddy adu,

New England over NY Jets
Philadelphia over Washington
Atlanta over Cleveland
Miami over Kansas City
Minnesota over Green Gay
Detroit over San Francisco
Indianapolis over Anybody
Tennessee over Baltimore
Jacksonville over Houston
San Diego over Cincinnati
Denver over Oakland
Arizona over Dallas
Seattle over St. Louis
New Orleans over Pittsburgh
NY Giants over Chicago

That was fun.

Nater

Taco 9

Ok so I saw the Buff this morning... Yes he is alive and well, but he disappeared as quickly as he came. He had a cape made of platinum and shoes made of gingerbread. Rumor has it that he is running for state office and should be back in full form next week after the election.

Taco Tuesday realizes that Kyky took some shots in my direction last week but he missed like Tim on a wide open lay up. Kyky has it coming and Taco realizes it, but look for it in the next few weeks. It could even be partially in Russian, to counter balance Kyky's Arabic puns.

Ok to the pics

I love the Rams to get it done against the Inappropriate Indian references

I love the Men to get it done against Reggie Bus... I mean Vince Youn... I mean Matt Lein... I mean whomever the hell they picked and the Texans

I love the Jags to forget remember the Titans and win by four digits

I love the Inappropriate Pirate references to get it done against Mardi Gras

I love the Boys to get it done on the road against the other Inappropriate Indian references

I hate the Bears, but they will win because the Fins are so incredibly bad that Mod and Dave were offered the job as online co-offensive coordinators

I love the Bills to beat the Pack

I love the Ravens to get it done at home

I love Hotlanta to steal one in the motor city

I love Denver to role in and take out the Inappropriate Steel Workers references. How bad are the defending champs?

I love the Bolts to dismantle poop on the road

I love the Patriotic men to beat the horses at home

I love the dirty sea birds to beat Al Davis and the Raiders

Finally to the game o' da week... Last week was a bad one for those who route for the purple. The Patriots made them look pretty bad. Yet they will rebound this week even though Lars is starting at linebacker, because half the team is hurt. V-I-K-E-S by 30.