Ok so I saw the Buff this morning... Yes he is alive and well, but he disappeared as quickly as he came. He had a cape made of platinum and shoes made of gingerbread. Rumor has it that he is running for state office and should be back in full form next week after the election.
Taco Tuesday realizes that Kyky took some shots in my direction last week but he missed like Tim on a wide open lay up. Kyky has it coming and Taco realizes it, but look for it in the next few weeks. It could even be partially in Russian, to counter balance Kyky's Arabic puns.
Ok to the pics
I love the Rams to get it done against the Inappropriate Indian references
I love the Men to get it done against Reggie Bus... I mean Vince Youn... I mean Matt Lein... I mean whomever the hell they picked and the Texans
I love the Jags to forget remember the Titans and win by four digits
I love the Inappropriate Pirate references to get it done against Mardi Gras
I love the Boys to get it done on the road against the other Inappropriate Indian references
I hate the Bears, but they will win because the Fins are so incredibly bad that Mod and Dave were offered the job as online co-offensive coordinators
I love the Bills to beat the Pack
I love the Ravens to get it done at home
I love Hotlanta to steal one in the motor city
I love Denver to role in and take out the Inappropriate Steel Workers references. How bad are the defending champs?
I love the Bolts to dismantle poop on the road
I love the Patriotic men to beat the horses at home
I love the dirty sea birds to beat Al Davis and the Raiders
Finally to the game o' da week... Last week was a bad one for those who route for the purple. The Patriots made them look pretty bad. Yet they will rebound this week even though Lars is starting at linebacker, because half the team is hurt. V-I-K-E-S by 30.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
Week 9 - MoPhats
Short but sweet...
Lion over Falcons
Bengals over Ravens
Boys over Skins
Pack over Bills
Giants over Texans
Rams over Chiefs
Bears over Phins
Saints over Bucs
Jags over Tenn.
Viks over 9ers
Chargers over Browns
Broncos over Steelers
Pats over Colts
Hawks over raiders
Lion over Falcons
Bengals over Ravens
Boys over Skins
Pack over Bills
Giants over Texans
Rams over Chiefs
Bears over Phins
Saints over Bucs
Jags over Tenn.
Viks over 9ers
Chargers over Browns
Broncos over Steelers
Pats over Colts
Hawks over raiders
Weak Nyne: Duck-BUTTER Sauce
Greetings fellow members of Everybody's Galactic Amateur Weightless Underwater Finger Painters of Eastern Scotland Association (EGAUWFPOESA). The rant competition has been fierce and biting like a stiff katabatic downslope wind on the icey slopes of the mountain of Non. What we're gonna do is take it one rant at a time. Just take em as they come and try and get the W. I think we have a pretty good rant squad. So let's buckle down and stay focused and hungry. Cuz NOBODY comes into our rant house and out rants us. So tighten up that soggy jockstrap three clicks and do an extra round of walking lunges and spandex squats.
Somewhere deep in the hidden forest of Midovast a vision comes to a young man named Wunder Trygas. The sacred prophecy follows:
RAMs take the peace pipe and shove it up kc chief Wampum Paumpum's rumpous.
the yogi BEARS get the w at home. Is that a picknick basket I smell on joey harrington's tighty whitys. Tommie Harris like picknick baskets.
BUCS stun the saints at home as deuce drops a huge load in this game. After the game they go play lazer tag and decide that though they had a fiercesome game they're still good friends.
FALCONS beat the lion-el richies.
BENGALS outpace the ravs at home. Ocho-Cinco does the mexican hat dance and eats a fajita-burrito-quesadilla
COWBOYS over skins. Tony Romo's been playing Dance Dance Revolution at Dave and Busters all week to keep his happy feet fresh for the big game. He won enough tickets to get a pencil sharpener.
PACK over the bills. Farve is changing again from Ganholf the Grey to Gandolf the White and casting all kinds of "dark magics" on his opponents. This week he turns J. P. Loooooseman into a square dancing canary.
GIANTS over texans.
VIKES over fran. Brad Johnson marches his 96 Throwning accuracy and 92 Awareness into a 0 TD 0 INT magnificent Mediocre Bowl caliber performance.
CHARGE over brown stools.
denver BRONCITUS coughes all over the pitt-stain stealers
in the expert bowl mavis beacon picks the PATS over the colts. what a classic quarterback match-up. This is classic windu-sidious, gaston vs. the beast, inspector gadget vs. Dr. claw shizzle.
SEAHAWKS over raydurs. Seneca walleye hooks himself some raider.
The picks are in. Let's go get wasted, dress up like ninjas and eat some crepes with peanut butter and bannanas.
Somewhere deep in the hidden forest of Midovast a vision comes to a young man named Wunder Trygas. The sacred prophecy follows:
RAMs take the peace pipe and shove it up kc chief Wampum Paumpum's rumpous.
the yogi BEARS get the w at home. Is that a picknick basket I smell on joey harrington's tighty whitys. Tommie Harris like picknick baskets.
BUCS stun the saints at home as deuce drops a huge load in this game. After the game they go play lazer tag and decide that though they had a fiercesome game they're still good friends.
FALCONS beat the lion-el richies.
BENGALS outpace the ravs at home. Ocho-Cinco does the mexican hat dance and eats a fajita-burrito-quesadilla
COWBOYS over skins. Tony Romo's been playing Dance Dance Revolution at Dave and Busters all week to keep his happy feet fresh for the big game. He won enough tickets to get a pencil sharpener.
PACK over the bills. Farve is changing again from Ganholf the Grey to Gandolf the White and casting all kinds of "dark magics" on his opponents. This week he turns J. P. Loooooseman into a square dancing canary.
GIANTS over texans.
VIKES over fran. Brad Johnson marches his 96 Throwning accuracy and 92 Awareness into a 0 TD 0 INT magnificent Mediocre Bowl caliber performance.
CHARGE over brown stools.
denver BRONCITUS coughes all over the pitt-stain stealers
in the expert bowl mavis beacon picks the PATS over the colts. what a classic quarterback match-up. This is classic windu-sidious, gaston vs. the beast, inspector gadget vs. Dr. claw shizzle.
SEAHAWKS over raydurs. Seneca walleye hooks himself some raider.
The picks are in. Let's go get wasted, dress up like ninjas and eat some crepes with peanut butter and bannanas.
Kyky, Week the 9th
Wow! I almost tied with Dell last week. I’m looking forward to taking on Hawnkngngsngs this week, and representing Kerry Baker well.
Hawnkgsgs: your father smells of elderberries!
I LOVE FALSUCKS over Kitties: Like Lem, I have a hard time picking the Falsucks. With my luck, Michael Vick will forget how to run like Michael Vick and start running like Greg Ostertag this week.
I LOVE RAVES over Bengholes: Raves are playing at home, and Bengholes are less impressive than they were at the beginning of the season. Chad Johnson looks like Dennis Rodman in the early days of the crazy. Who the hell would have thought that Wesley Snipes’ look in Demolition Man would have gotten so much mileage?
I LOVE BOYS over Skins: Where, oh where have the Bullets gone? I must admit that I’ve been less enthused about the Washington ball team since the name change. Though I think it would have been dynamite if they would have gone the other way and called the hockey team the Washington Rapists and the new baseball team the Washington Slaveholders.
I LOVE BISON over Puckers: Having an NBA team in either of these cities, with the winters they have, would be like having an NBA team in International Falls (incidentally their nickname would be the “Little Balls,” in honor of the inhumane shrinkage that goes on in IF). This game has “fantastic three-hour nap” written all over it.
I LOVE GMEN over Texis: Isaiah Thomas and Kevin McHale are in a neck-in-neck competition for worst NBA exec. of all time. True, the T-pups don’t have the salary or waste of bench that the ‘bockers do, but the fact that the T-pups have essentially imploded to the point where their banking on guys like Mike James and Ricky Davis (both alright, but not backbones of a team) is disheartening.
I LOVE RAMS over Chefs: No NBA references. Although, the Chefs are like Mizzou—always good enough to create some buzz, but never good enough to be a major player come the end of the season.
I LOVE BURRS over Finitos: Why do people, writers mostly, insist on using the (correct) singular form of words when refering to the Heat, Wild, Cardinal, et. al.? I realize it takes somebody special to name your team The Cardinal, but seriously, a story that reads, “The Heat is winning the division” just sounds dumb—as if some big guy named “The Heat” is winning the division. This is a team sport, and thus, when one is talking about the Miami Heat, one is talking about the players that make up the Heat team. Um…I think I’ve revealed too much of my nerdy side.
I LOVE BUCS over Righteous People: I don’t know about you, but I remember getting a ton of Anthony Avent cards when I used to collect. This was right around the time when Shaq was a popular member of the Orlando Magic (again with the friggin singular name!), so I’d catch a glimpse of a Magic uniform, only to be crestfallen that it was, in fact, Anthony Avent again. Also, I love that the Davises decided to skip all pretentions and name their son Baron. Were they hoping that the name would entail the title?
I LOVE JAGS over Tits: I’m shocked to find that Bryant Reeves is no longer in the NBA. With a body like that and such a charming personality (who here is with me on the Inside Stuff profile of Bryant Reeves?) I am floored that he isn’t still lacing ‘em up. I would love to see a Sports Illustrated “Where are they now?” piece on Bryant Reeves.
I LOVE VIKES over Niners: How the hell did Jerome Richardson ever get, and more importantly keep, the nickname “Pooh.” This either connotes the cuddly bear—not very masculine—or fecal matter—not very flattering or hygienic.
I LOVE BOLTS over Scat: Lebron James is going to own the NBA in 4.78 years. I won’t vouch for his acting skills, but he brings it night in and night out. He is essentially a carbon copy of Jordan, but that’s okay—I liked Jordan, too. I find it hard to wrap my head around the idea that he is younger than me—and I’m the youngest of the WDYL crowd by a mile. Sick.
I LOVE BRONCS over Steel: The old Nuggets uniforms looked like a gay pride version of an abstract cityscape. Though they’re not the worst NBA unis of all time, they had to be among the most immasculating. Somehow it’s hard to take a team seriously when they’ve got a rainbow stripe across their chests.
I LOVE PATS over Colts: Leg, I think we can all agree that it’s time for you to stop sucking face with Larry Legend. For starters, you have a wife and kid at home who don’t get the proper attention because you’re out ogling some ‘NBA Superstars of the 80s’ video (on VHS, no less—have you no dignity?) Secondly, Larry Legend is getting a bit paunchy around the middle. True, he was a real-live legend, but he’s no longer on the Celts and, as you imply in your post, the Celts suck more than a wife who’s “too tired” for sex.
I LOVE S’HAWKS over Black death: Chris Mullen gave all white guys who wanted to look like black guys (but just looked whiter) hope. He was a damn fine player, and his flat-top rivaled that of my man Kenny Walker.
Hawnkgsgs: your father smells of elderberries!
I LOVE FALSUCKS over Kitties: Like Lem, I have a hard time picking the Falsucks. With my luck, Michael Vick will forget how to run like Michael Vick and start running like Greg Ostertag this week.
I LOVE RAVES over Bengholes: Raves are playing at home, and Bengholes are less impressive than they were at the beginning of the season. Chad Johnson looks like Dennis Rodman in the early days of the crazy. Who the hell would have thought that Wesley Snipes’ look in Demolition Man would have gotten so much mileage?
I LOVE BOYS over Skins: Where, oh where have the Bullets gone? I must admit that I’ve been less enthused about the Washington ball team since the name change. Though I think it would have been dynamite if they would have gone the other way and called the hockey team the Washington Rapists and the new baseball team the Washington Slaveholders.
I LOVE BISON over Puckers: Having an NBA team in either of these cities, with the winters they have, would be like having an NBA team in International Falls (incidentally their nickname would be the “Little Balls,” in honor of the inhumane shrinkage that goes on in IF). This game has “fantastic three-hour nap” written all over it.
I LOVE GMEN over Texis: Isaiah Thomas and Kevin McHale are in a neck-in-neck competition for worst NBA exec. of all time. True, the T-pups don’t have the salary or waste of bench that the ‘bockers do, but the fact that the T-pups have essentially imploded to the point where their banking on guys like Mike James and Ricky Davis (both alright, but not backbones of a team) is disheartening.
I LOVE RAMS over Chefs: No NBA references. Although, the Chefs are like Mizzou—always good enough to create some buzz, but never good enough to be a major player come the end of the season.
I LOVE BURRS over Finitos: Why do people, writers mostly, insist on using the (correct) singular form of words when refering to the Heat, Wild, Cardinal, et. al.? I realize it takes somebody special to name your team The Cardinal, but seriously, a story that reads, “The Heat is winning the division” just sounds dumb—as if some big guy named “The Heat” is winning the division. This is a team sport, and thus, when one is talking about the Miami Heat, one is talking about the players that make up the Heat team. Um…I think I’ve revealed too much of my nerdy side.
I LOVE BUCS over Righteous People: I don’t know about you, but I remember getting a ton of Anthony Avent cards when I used to collect. This was right around the time when Shaq was a popular member of the Orlando Magic (again with the friggin singular name!), so I’d catch a glimpse of a Magic uniform, only to be crestfallen that it was, in fact, Anthony Avent again. Also, I love that the Davises decided to skip all pretentions and name their son Baron. Were they hoping that the name would entail the title?
I LOVE JAGS over Tits: I’m shocked to find that Bryant Reeves is no longer in the NBA. With a body like that and such a charming personality (who here is with me on the Inside Stuff profile of Bryant Reeves?) I am floored that he isn’t still lacing ‘em up. I would love to see a Sports Illustrated “Where are they now?” piece on Bryant Reeves.
I LOVE VIKES over Niners: How the hell did Jerome Richardson ever get, and more importantly keep, the nickname “Pooh.” This either connotes the cuddly bear—not very masculine—or fecal matter—not very flattering or hygienic.
I LOVE BOLTS over Scat: Lebron James is going to own the NBA in 4.78 years. I won’t vouch for his acting skills, but he brings it night in and night out. He is essentially a carbon copy of Jordan, but that’s okay—I liked Jordan, too. I find it hard to wrap my head around the idea that he is younger than me—and I’m the youngest of the WDYL crowd by a mile. Sick.
I LOVE BRONCS over Steel: The old Nuggets uniforms looked like a gay pride version of an abstract cityscape. Though they’re not the worst NBA unis of all time, they had to be among the most immasculating. Somehow it’s hard to take a team seriously when they’ve got a rainbow stripe across their chests.
I LOVE PATS over Colts: Leg, I think we can all agree that it’s time for you to stop sucking face with Larry Legend. For starters, you have a wife and kid at home who don’t get the proper attention because you’re out ogling some ‘NBA Superstars of the 80s’ video (on VHS, no less—have you no dignity?) Secondly, Larry Legend is getting a bit paunchy around the middle. True, he was a real-live legend, but he’s no longer on the Celts and, as you imply in your post, the Celts suck more than a wife who’s “too tired” for sex.
I LOVE S’HAWKS over Black death: Chris Mullen gave all white guys who wanted to look like black guys (but just looked whiter) hope. He was a damn fine player, and his flat-top rivaled that of my man Kenny Walker.
Mod - Week 9
Good call Lars, dedicating this weeks WDYL picks to the NBA season is a no-brainer. This season will be as good as a Robert Traylor vs. Michael Sweetney cannonball contest.
I love the Chiefs and Ron Artest to take down the NBA-less Rams. Well Kansas City doesn't currently have a team but they did have a team back in the 70's that is now in Sacramento. The Kings could surprise some people but they dont have enough weapons to contend in a loaded conference. They are caught in the middle of going for a championship and re-building. The first option is a long way away. Now St. Louis just got a World Series win but without an NBA team, your city still sucks. Go hang with Nelly and his Air Force One's you sally's.
I love the Giants and Crapsiah Dumphas over the Shing Say Yao Texans. The Knicks are headed back to the lottery and if anything... this team is going to be fun to laugh at over the year. Yeah, they are 1-0 but they beat a Memphis team that was without Gasol and played a bunch of rookies all game. Plus they blew a 19 point 4th quarter lead, now THAT's entertainment! The Rockets are in the same boat as the Kings as far as I'm concerned. Can T-Mac stay healthy? Is Yao really 7'6"? These questions need to be answered before I believe in them as a title contender.
I love the Saints and the best / team ever over the Bucs. Ok New Orleans had it rough, but having two cities for one NBA team is the most ridicoulous thing ever. Do they hold two parades in New Orleans and Ok City if they win the championship? Does Chris Paul get the key to one or two cities? Luckily we won't have to worry about answering these questions because any team with Tyson Chandler on it will never win the whole thing. Tampa Bay? Instead of building stupid pirate ships and running crappy baseball teams, try to get an NBA franchise. You're dead to me TB.
I love the Cowboys having NO WITS when they are SKIing over the Skins in the ARENAS. Ok, Dallas will be good again, Cuban will get fined huge $$, and Avery Johnson has a huge mouth. They need to win it all here soon, they are the Utah Jazz of the 2000's. Washington did nothing to change a team that has stayed the same over the past 2 years. Welcome to another first round exit Bullet fans.
I love the Jags over the Tits. I guess the Grizzlies are the closest we have to an NBA team in this matchup. Rudy Gay has the best jersey ever, imagine if his number was 69. His jersey would say Gay 69. Now that would be more entertaining than any Grizzly game this year.
I love the Ravens over the Bengals. Two cities without an NBA team? What do citizens of these cities do after football season? My guess:
I love the Packers and their friends down in Buck land over the Bills. The Bucks have one of my favorite players, Michael Redd, and while they did knock down the Pistons earlier this week, I just can't pick them to go far in the playoffs. Bogut is decent down low and Villaneuva is a nice addition, but who do they have down low that really scares anybody?
I love the Bears and the Fromen over the Dolphins. The Bulls looked amazing against the Heat and then looked equally as bad against the Magic. All homerism aside, the Bulls will be winning the NBA Title this year. Now that the homerism is aside, I can honestly say the Bulls will be winning the NBA Title this year. Phew, feels good to say that. Miami is old and fat, look at Antoine Walker. Fat, round face, and 2" vertical leap... Lars style.
I love the Falcons over the Lions. Ahh the Hawks, yup... that's all that's needs to be said about them. The Grandmahs played better as a team than the Hawks have ever done in the past 20 years. The Pistons on the other hand play great as a team but unfortunately that team includes Flip Saunders who can't do anything right. How that team didn't win it last year is a choke job in itself.
I love the Vikes and the Mad-dawgs over the 49ers. The T-wolves are going to be a lot better than a lot of experts think. I love Randy Foye as he fits the slashing guard they need. Mike James, Troy Hudson are good shooters but neither of them have the great slashing ability Foye has. If McCants was healthy all year, I could see them getting up to a #5 seed, but right now I think its a #7 or #8.
I love the Broncos and the Carmelo Bars to keep the Steelers slide going. The Nuggets are stuck in mediocrity. I kind of feel for teams like this, they draft a stud that gets them to borderline contention status but since the team already has a stud, no other studs wants to be #2 and come to Denver nor is the team bad enough to get talent through the draft. Same with Cleveland now.
I love the Chargers over the Browns and the Lebron's. The new Le-bron commercials are hilarious. Makes me wonder what MJ would have done back in the day with the current editing materials we have today. Le-bron needs one more weapon I believe before he starts his run of 9 straight years of being runner up to the Bulls in the Eastern Confernce. San Diego was once the proud city of the Clippers. That's like being the boat company that sailed the Vikings love boat. What do you do next? Do you give up on the NBA? Or do you just say the hell with it and let Fred Smoot take over as CEO and turn the ship into the Sexual Floatation. Answer: Chris Kaman.
I love the Pats and the spirit of Larry Bird to get it done against Indy and the pedestrian beaters. Ahh the Celtics, a team with one superstar, one overpaid white guard that wears #55, and one overall crappy-ass team for the 20th year in a row. Celt fans will be longing for the days of Dino Radja, Sherman Douglas, and Dee Brown after this year. So Jermaine O'Neal has been in the NBA for ten years and is only 28. I love high school draft picks. Too bad a high school team might have the same chance at winning an NBA title this year as well.
I love the Seahawks over the Raiders. The Supersonics have a great name and a great history with the likes of Detlef "Battered, fried, or boiled" Schrempf, Sam "Late Night" Perkins, Frank "Watch This" Brickowski, and Shawn "Weekend at Summer" Kemp. But, this team blows. The Warriors are a team that confuses me, I have loved their draft picks over the years and thought Baron Davis would make them a ton better. Now, the Warriors have replaced the Clippers as the "Atlanta Hawks of the West." Sucks to be you guys, LOL.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Week 9 - Super pic's
Atlanta at Detroit - I love the Luck Dragon's. Butter if you can't get the job done some else has to do it!
Cincinnati at Baltimore - I love the Raven's. Mostly because I love that saturday morning sitcom "That's so Raven" starring Olivia from the cosby show.
Dallas at Washington - I love Dallas and by dallas I'm referring to the 80's daytime soap opera.
Green Bay at Buffalo - I hate myself, but I'm going to live on the edge and pick the packers to win this one. With a huff a puff and big slab of meat, the meat packer will win by 3. They might need some help from these Bethel Mathlete's first.
Houston at N.Y. Giants - I love the Giants in this contest. Yesterday, when I was at the homeless shelter this little boy ran up to me and called me a "GIANT". I think that is a sign to go with who I am.
Kansas City at St. Louis - I love the Chefs in this one. I mean, I was practically born and raised there. I've gotta pick my team. I do have a chief's start coat.
Miami at Chicago - I love the Bears in this one. The only thing that could settle the win before the game is if Cory Paus was gauranteed a couple snaps from Kreutz's rear end.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay - I love the Saints. With Drew Bree's mom finally off his back Drew should be able to play better. Only if his mom was a more thoughtful person.
Tennessee at Jacksonville - I love disney film's in this one. Man there are a lot of games. I've gotta get some work done. Imagine if I did some real photoshoping.
Minnesota at San Francisco - I love the 9r's. I know all the Vike's fan's are thinking that this game is a gimme. I don't so. The SF9r's will be able to run the ball well and not give up any defense TD's. The vike's offense is going to get frustrated and after the game they will ask Peter if he can call up his friend Larry Fitzgerld to see if he is interested in moving to MN.
Cleveland at San Diego - I love the Chargers.
Denver at Pittsburgh - I love Denver
Indianapolis at New England - I love the Pat's
Oakland at Seattle - I love Seattle
Thanks for not accepting me as a welcome week member Andy, this Bud's for you. I want you in GodStorm risk so bad
Cincinnati at Baltimore - I love the Raven's. Mostly because I love that saturday morning sitcom "That's so Raven" starring Olivia from the cosby show.
Dallas at Washington - I love Dallas and by dallas I'm referring to the 80's daytime soap opera.
Green Bay at Buffalo - I hate myself, but I'm going to live on the edge and pick the packers to win this one. With a huff a puff and big slab of meat, the meat packer will win by 3. They might need some help from these Bethel Mathlete's first.
Houston at N.Y. Giants - I love the Giants in this contest. Yesterday, when I was at the homeless shelter this little boy ran up to me and called me a "GIANT". I think that is a sign to go with who I am.
Kansas City at St. Louis - I love the Chefs in this one. I mean, I was practically born and raised there. I've gotta pick my team. I do have a chief's start coat.
Miami at Chicago - I love the Bears in this one. The only thing that could settle the win before the game is if Cory Paus was gauranteed a couple snaps from Kreutz's rear end.
New Orleans at Tampa Bay - I love the Saints. With Drew Bree's mom finally off his back Drew should be able to play better. Only if his mom was a more thoughtful person.
Tennessee at Jacksonville - I love disney film's in this one. Man there are a lot of games. I've gotta get some work done. Imagine if I did some real photoshoping.
Minnesota at San Francisco - I love the 9r's. I know all the Vike's fan's are thinking that this game is a gimme. I don't so. The SF9r's will be able to run the ball well and not give up any defense TD's. The vike's offense is going to get frustrated and after the game they will ask Peter if he can call up his friend Larry Fitzgerld to see if he is interested in moving to MN.
Cleveland at San Diego - I love the Chargers.
Denver at Pittsburgh - I love Denver
Indianapolis at New England - I love the Pat's
Oakland at Seattle - I love Seattle
Thanks for not accepting me as a welcome week member Andy, this Bud's for you. I want you in GodStorm risk so bad
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Anybody want to go to Miami?
What is this guy so excited about?
A museum exhibit on poop, that's what. The story doesn't say so, but I believe the last display is Daunte standing behind some glass.
Edit: There's an official zoo website here. My favorite "exhibition highlight": Worth Your Weight In... - African elephants are the biggest poopers of all land animals. Step on the scale to see how many hours (or minutes!) it takes an elephant to poop your body weight.
A museum exhibit on poop, that's what. The story doesn't say so, but I believe the last display is Daunte standing behind some glass.
Edit: There's an official zoo website here. My favorite "exhibition highlight": Worth Your Weight In... - African elephants are the biggest poopers of all land animals. Step on the scale to see how many hours (or minutes!) it takes an elephant to poop your body weight.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Awesome, Taco
My folks are no longer in town, and thankfully I've got an extra hour to submit some picks. I'm pumped to be up against Taco/Camaro/PWil/Wilpet. Taco is a dear brother in Christ, but, in the spirit of Halloween, I hope some kid comes to his door to get candy, punches him in the nuts, and steals all his candy. If not, that's what this week is gonna feel like, Taco. It's nut check time.
On a side note, I want to applaud MOD's commitment to WDYL--he texted his picks in last week. That's honorable in every sense of the word.
In honor of Taco, I'm going to try to intersperse some Taco-isms into my picks.
I LOVE PACK over Cards: The Cardinals would be afraid of playing the Little Giants right now, and the Pack are at Lambeau. This game is going to be uglier than Vladimir Putin on a good day.
I LOVE BUNGHOLES over Falcors: The Bengals sat down this past week and had some ideological discourse about the nature of their team chemistry. They all came away saying, "What the hell is ideological discourse." That said, the up-down Falcors are due for a down week, and the Bengals are at home.
I LOVE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE over Raves: The Raves came out strong at the beginning of the year, and now they're seemingly falling apart. So much so that they fired their Offensive Coordinator. This makes all the sense in the world, because we know that Brian Billick is such a brilliant offensive mind. Well, only when he's got a player named Moss on his team.
I LOVE TEXIS over Tits: We spent a night in Nashville on a choir trip that may have arguably been the worst of Taco's choir career. To start with, he was absolutely pissed at a fellow choir member, let's call her Kristen (everybody else did), and then we went to a restaurant to get charged, like, $700 for a normal dinner. Then Buff got gassy.
I LOVE UGGLES over Jags: Awesome, Jags. You start out the year looking like you're going to contend, and then you decide to suck. Frick! Uggles will take the cake on this one.
I LOVE CHEFS over S'hawks: The Chefs are at home (a town where Taco and I lost at foosball to a couple of 10 year old girls), and the S'hawks are without their quarterback, who is still (barely) balder than Taco.
I LOVE BURRS over Prospectors: Taco hates the Bears, but there's more of a chance that Red Auerbach will be on the sidelines at this game. RIP Red. We knew ye just about the right amount.
I LOVE GMEN over Bucs: Gmen are starting to look good, but that's what many thought a few weeks ago. That said, Gradkowski shall meet Strahan and Umenyiora and be humbled, much like Taco gets humbled nearly every time he talks to girls.
I LOVE BOLTS over Rams: If the Falcors are up-down, the Bolts are just...how do I put this...coached by Marty Schottenheimer. They're at home, though, and I think Tomlinson's up for another big game. Plus, St. Louis has used up all of the city's sports mojo for the year.
I LOVE BRONCS over Colts: This is my riskiest pick of the week. The Broncos are looking damn strong, but so are the Colts. I'm going to give the edge to the Broncos because Taco's parents are like parents to all of us.
I LOVE J-E-T-S over Turds: No brainer. Almost as much of a no brainer as not doing motorcycle wheelies in a parking lot. Almost.
I LOVE CROTCH GHOULS over Raidahs: Last week was an aberration for the Raidahs--they were playing a team coached by a guy who now has "punched a microphone" on his resume. Though Big Ben has had a rough season, he hasn't had nearly the bad luck that Taco can conjure up (think "gall bladder of a middle aged woman" or "falling over, while stationary, on a brand new bike that's not stationary" or "working at National American University" among other things).
I LOVE PANTS over Boys: Steve Smith reminds me a lot of Taco. He's short, and you underestimate his speed and heart when playing against him. Okay, so the speed thing may not be there, but he's got heart.
I LOVE PURPLE over Patsies: I'm going to actually mimic Taco here and pick the Vikes. I haven't seen his pick yet, though I can safely assume that he'll pick the Purple--he picked them to win the NBA Western Conference last year. If he's out in CA for the Monday night game, he and Reg are going to be the only two people in the entire state that care about that game--the rest of the state will be eating lunch or something like that.
On a side note, I want to applaud MOD's commitment to WDYL--he texted his picks in last week. That's honorable in every sense of the word.
In honor of Taco, I'm going to try to intersperse some Taco-isms into my picks.
I LOVE PACK over Cards: The Cardinals would be afraid of playing the Little Giants right now, and the Pack are at Lambeau. This game is going to be uglier than Vladimir Putin on a good day.
I LOVE BUNGHOLES over Falcors: The Bengals sat down this past week and had some ideological discourse about the nature of their team chemistry. They all came away saying, "What the hell is ideological discourse." That said, the up-down Falcors are due for a down week, and the Bengals are at home.
I LOVE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE over Raves: The Raves came out strong at the beginning of the year, and now they're seemingly falling apart. So much so that they fired their Offensive Coordinator. This makes all the sense in the world, because we know that Brian Billick is such a brilliant offensive mind. Well, only when he's got a player named Moss on his team.
I LOVE TEXIS over Tits: We spent a night in Nashville on a choir trip that may have arguably been the worst of Taco's choir career. To start with, he was absolutely pissed at a fellow choir member, let's call her Kristen (everybody else did), and then we went to a restaurant to get charged, like, $700 for a normal dinner. Then Buff got gassy.
I LOVE UGGLES over Jags: Awesome, Jags. You start out the year looking like you're going to contend, and then you decide to suck. Frick! Uggles will take the cake on this one.
I LOVE CHEFS over S'hawks: The Chefs are at home (a town where Taco and I lost at foosball to a couple of 10 year old girls), and the S'hawks are without their quarterback, who is still (barely) balder than Taco.
I LOVE BURRS over Prospectors: Taco hates the Bears, but there's more of a chance that Red Auerbach will be on the sidelines at this game. RIP Red. We knew ye just about the right amount.
I LOVE GMEN over Bucs: Gmen are starting to look good, but that's what many thought a few weeks ago. That said, Gradkowski shall meet Strahan and Umenyiora and be humbled, much like Taco gets humbled nearly every time he talks to girls.
I LOVE BOLTS over Rams: If the Falcors are up-down, the Bolts are just...how do I put this...coached by Marty Schottenheimer. They're at home, though, and I think Tomlinson's up for another big game. Plus, St. Louis has used up all of the city's sports mojo for the year.
I LOVE BRONCS over Colts: This is my riskiest pick of the week. The Broncos are looking damn strong, but so are the Colts. I'm going to give the edge to the Broncos because Taco's parents are like parents to all of us.
I LOVE J-E-T-S over Turds: No brainer. Almost as much of a no brainer as not doing motorcycle wheelies in a parking lot. Almost.
I LOVE CROTCH GHOULS over Raidahs: Last week was an aberration for the Raidahs--they were playing a team coached by a guy who now has "punched a microphone" on his resume. Though Big Ben has had a rough season, he hasn't had nearly the bad luck that Taco can conjure up (think "gall bladder of a middle aged woman" or "falling over, while stationary, on a brand new bike that's not stationary" or "working at National American University" among other things).
I LOVE PANTS over Boys: Steve Smith reminds me a lot of Taco. He's short, and you underestimate his speed and heart when playing against him. Okay, so the speed thing may not be there, but he's got heart.
I LOVE PURPLE over Patsies: I'm going to actually mimic Taco here and pick the Vikes. I haven't seen his pick yet, though I can safely assume that he'll pick the Purple--he picked them to win the NBA Western Conference last year. If he's out in CA for the Monday night game, he and Reg are going to be the only two people in the entire state that care about that game--the rest of the state will be eating lunch or something like that.
Awesome, Taco
My folks are no longer in town, and thankfully I've got an extra hour to submit some picks. I'm pumped to be up against Taco/Camaro/PWil/Wilpet. Taco is a dear brother in Christ, but, in the spirit of Halloween, I hope some kid comes to his door to get candy, punches him in the nuts, and steals all his candy. If not, that's what this week is gonna feel like, Taco. It's nut check time.
On a side note, I want to applaud MOD's commitment to WDYL--he texted his picks in last week. That's honorable in every sense of the word.
In honor of Taco, I'm going to try to intersperse some Taco-isms into my picks.
I LOVE PACK over Cards: The Cardinals would be afraid of playing the Little Giants right now, and the Pack are at Lambeau. This game is going to be uglier than Vladimir Putin on a good day.
I LOVE BUNGHOLES over Falcors: The Bengals sat down this past week and had some ideological discourse about the nature of their team chemistry. They all came away saying, "What the hell is ideological discourse." That said, the up-down Falcors are due for a down week, and the Bengals are at home.
I LOVE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE over Raves: The Raves came out strong at the beginning of the year, and now they're seemingly falling apart. So much so that they fired their Offensive Coordinator. This makes all the sense in the world, because we know that Brian Billick is such a brilliant offensive mind. Well, only when he's got a player named Moss on his team.
I LOVE TEXIS over Tits: We spent a night in Nashville on a choir trip that may have arguably been the worst of Taco's choir career. To start with, he was absolutely pissed at a fellow choir member, let's call her Kristen (everybody else did), and then we went to a restaurant to get charged, like, $700 for a normal dinner. Then Buff got gassy.
I LOVE UGGLES over Jags: Awesome, Jags. You start out the year looking like you're going to contend, and then you decide to suck. Frick! Uggles will take the cake on this one.
I LOVE CHEFS over S'hawks: The Chefs are at home (a town where Taco and I lost at foosball to a couple of 10 year old girls), and the S'hawks are without their quarterback, who is still (barely) balder than Taco.
I LOVE BURRS over Prospectors: Taco hates the Bears, but there's more of a chance that Red Auerbach will be on the sidelines at this game. RIP Red. We knew ye just about the right amount.
I LOVE GMEN over Bucs: Gmen are starting to look good, but that's what many thought a few weeks ago. That said, Gradkowski shall meet Strahan and Umenyiora and be humbled, much like Taco gets humbled nearly every time he talks to girls.
I LOVE BOLTS over Rams: If the Falcors are up-down, the Bolts are just...how do I put this...coached by Marty Schottenheimer. They're at home, though, and I think Tomlinson's up for another big game. Plus, St. Louis has used up all of the city's sports mojo for the year.
I LOVE BRONCS over Colts: This is my riskiest pick of the week. The Broncos are looking damn strong, but so are the Colts. I'm going to give the edge to the Broncos because Taco's parents are like parents to all of us.
I LOVE J-E-T-S over Turds: No brainer. Almost as much of a no brainer as not doing motorcycle wheelies in a parking lot. Almost.
I LOVE CROTCH GHOULS over Raidahs: Last week was an aberration for the Raidahs--they were playing a team coached by a guy who now has "punched a microphone" on his resume. Though Big Ben has had a rough season, he hasn't had nearly the bad luck that Taco can conjure up (think "gall bladder of a middle aged woman" or "falling over, while stationary, on a brand new bike that's not stationary" or "working at National American University" among other things).
I LOVE PANTS over Boys: Steve Smith reminds me a lot of Taco. He's short, and you underestimate his speed and heart when playing against him. Okay, so the speed thing may not be there, but he's got heart.
I LOVE PURPLE over Patsies: I'm going to actually mimic Taco here and pick the Vikes. I haven't seen his pick yet, though I can safely assume that he'll pick the Purple--he picked them to win the NBA Western Conference last year. If he's out in CA for the Monday night game, he and Reg are going to be the only two people in the entire state that care about that game--the rest of the state will be eating lunch or something like that.
On a side note, I want to applaud MOD's commitment to WDYL--he texted his picks in last week. That's honorable in every sense of the word.
In honor of Taco, I'm going to try to intersperse some Taco-isms into my picks.
I LOVE PACK over Cards: The Cardinals would be afraid of playing the Little Giants right now, and the Pack are at Lambeau. This game is going to be uglier than Vladimir Putin on a good day.
I LOVE BUNGHOLES over Falcors: The Bengals sat down this past week and had some ideological discourse about the nature of their team chemistry. They all came away saying, "What the hell is ideological discourse." That said, the up-down Falcors are due for a down week, and the Bengals are at home.
I LOVE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE over Raves: The Raves came out strong at the beginning of the year, and now they're seemingly falling apart. So much so that they fired their Offensive Coordinator. This makes all the sense in the world, because we know that Brian Billick is such a brilliant offensive mind. Well, only when he's got a player named Moss on his team.
I LOVE TEXIS over Tits: We spent a night in Nashville on a choir trip that may have arguably been the worst of Taco's choir career. To start with, he was absolutely pissed at a fellow choir member, let's call her Kristen (everybody else did), and then we went to a restaurant to get charged, like, $700 for a normal dinner. Then Buff got gassy.
I LOVE UGGLES over Jags: Awesome, Jags. You start out the year looking like you're going to contend, and then you decide to suck. Frick! Uggles will take the cake on this one.
I LOVE CHEFS over S'hawks: The Chefs are at home (a town where Taco and I lost at foosball to a couple of 10 year old girls), and the S'hawks are without their quarterback, who is still (barely) balder than Taco.
I LOVE BURRS over Prospectors: Taco hates the Bears, but there's more of a chance that Red Auerbach will be on the sidelines at this game. RIP Red. We knew ye just about the right amount.
I LOVE GMEN over Bucs: Gmen are starting to look good, but that's what many thought a few weeks ago. That said, Gradkowski shall meet Strahan and Umenyiora and be humbled, much like Taco gets humbled nearly every time he talks to girls.
I LOVE BOLTS over Rams: If the Falcors are up-down, the Bolts are just...how do I put this...coached by Marty Schottenheimer. They're at home, though, and I think Tomlinson's up for another big game. Plus, St. Louis has used up all of the city's sports mojo for the year.
I LOVE BRONCS over Colts: This is my riskiest pick of the week. The Broncos are looking damn strong, but so are the Colts. I'm going to give the edge to the Broncos because Taco's parents are like parents to all of us.
I LOVE J-E-T-S over Turds: No brainer. Almost as much of a no brainer as not doing motorcycle wheelies in a parking lot. Almost.
I LOVE CROTCH GHOULS over Raidahs: Last week was an aberration for the Raidahs--they were playing a team coached by a guy who now has "punched a microphone" on his resume. Though Big Ben has had a rough season, he hasn't had nearly the bad luck that Taco can conjure up (think "gall bladder of a middle aged woman" or "falling over, while stationary, on a brand new bike that's not stationary" or "working at National American University" among other things).
I LOVE PANTS over Boys: Steve Smith reminds me a lot of Taco. He's short, and you underestimate his speed and heart when playing against him. Okay, so the speed thing may not be there, but he's got heart.
I LOVE PURPLE over Patsies: I'm going to actually mimic Taco here and pick the Vikes. I haven't seen his pick yet, though I can safely assume that he'll pick the Purple--he picked them to win the NBA Western Conference last year. If he's out in CA for the Monday night game, he and Reg are going to be the only two people in the entire state that care about that game--the rest of the state will be eating lunch or something like that.
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