Wild, Wild Kyky

I think...I THINK...this weekend can be described as a "Wild" weekend. The four-letter network wants to make sure we, the fans, don't forget that anything can happen. That's right, the J-E-T-S could beat the Pats, and I could poop thrice on Sunday (what I consider to be a "wow day").

Adding the excitement and wildness of the WDYL playoffs into the mix just makes it that much better. I hope MOD is ready to eat the product of my "wow day".

1. I LOVE G-MEN over uglies. Can you feel it? Disney is pushing HARD for a brilliant playoff run by Tiki Barber and the G-men. If they win the SB, expect a Disney movie about it next year, with Vin Diesel playing Tiki Barber, the kid from the OC playing Eli Manning, Ving Rhames playing Michael Strahan, and Nic Cage trying to show his versatility as Jim Fassel. Look for Tiki to have a big day, and for him to be offered the anchor chair on ABC World News Tonight.

2. I LOVE COLTS over chefs. I'm not too sure about the Colts. I mean, sure, Peyton Manning commercials are better than most of the SB commercials of the past 3-4 years. And, I know, Peyton-Marvin is a bitchin' combo. And, true, if you replaced the 'i' in the rookie running back's last name, it would be a type of snake. But their defense against runs is awful--more like Dulcolax than Immodium. I expect (and let's face it, kind of hope for) the Colts to do well. The Chefs will put up a good effort--LJ will get a couple of TDs--but it won't be enough. In the 'lucky charms battle' of horseshoe v. arrowhead, horseshoe wins.

3. I LOVE BOYS over s'hawks. History tells us that SB runner-ups have fared poorly in the playoffs the next year. History also tells us that it's a mistake to get moons over my-hammy with hash browns covered and smothered, and then go play a late-night game of broomball. Even though Tony Romo is untested in the playoffs, I think the 'Boys are a better team right now. Sure, they kind of stumbled during the end of the season, but Bill Parcells is approaching Mike Holmgren's girth--that's gotta count for something. TO will catch a TD, and drop 4 passes, only to pout and flex on national TV afterward.

4. I LOVE PATS over j-e-t-s. This is a lock. Brady is money during the playoffs. He's the Iraqi Dinar to the Jets defense's US Dollar--he's appreciating, bitch. It's a good thing that there's something to be said for the name 'Pat' these days. Pat Robertson continues to sully the good name of Pat. He predicts...nay, God told him...that there will be a big attack on the US in 2007. Not nuclear, but big. At least we know Robertson's not an open theist. Whew. Pats to win easily, making Mangina look like a...well, you get the idea.

May all y'all's dreams come true this weekend. Except for MOD. I hope you somehow end up in a bathroom with the Buf while he's taking a deuce.