Awesome, Taco

My folks are no longer in town, and thankfully I've got an extra hour to submit some picks. I'm pumped to be up against Taco/Camaro/PWil/Wilpet. Taco is a dear brother in Christ, but, in the spirit of Halloween, I hope some kid comes to his door to get candy, punches him in the nuts, and steals all his candy. If not, that's what this week is gonna feel like, Taco. It's nut check time.

On a side note, I want to applaud MOD's commitment to WDYL--he texted his picks in last week. That's honorable in every sense of the word.

In honor of Taco, I'm going to try to intersperse some Taco-isms into my picks.

I LOVE PACK over Cards: The Cardinals would be afraid of playing the Little Giants right now, and the Pack are at Lambeau. This game is going to be uglier than Vladimir Putin on a good day.
I LOVE BUNGHOLES over Falcors: The Bengals sat down this past week and had some ideological discourse about the nature of their team chemistry. They all came away saying, "What the hell is ideological discourse." That said, the up-down Falcors are due for a down week, and the Bengals are at home.
I LOVE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE over Raves: The Raves came out strong at the beginning of the year, and now they're seemingly falling apart. So much so that they fired their Offensive Coordinator. This makes all the sense in the world, because we know that Brian Billick is such a brilliant offensive mind. Well, only when he's got a player named Moss on his team.
I LOVE TEXIS over Tits: We spent a night in Nashville on a choir trip that may have arguably been the worst of Taco's choir career. To start with, he was absolutely pissed at a fellow choir member, let's call her Kristen (everybody else did), and then we went to a restaurant to get charged, like, $700 for a normal dinner. Then Buff got gassy.
I LOVE UGGLES over Jags: Awesome, Jags. You start out the year looking like you're going to contend, and then you decide to suck. Frick! Uggles will take the cake on this one.
I LOVE CHEFS over S'hawks: The Chefs are at home (a town where Taco and I lost at foosball to a couple of 10 year old girls), and the S'hawks are without their quarterback, who is still (barely) balder than Taco.
I LOVE BURRS over Prospectors: Taco hates the Bears, but there's more of a chance that Red Auerbach will be on the sidelines at this game. RIP Red. We knew ye just about the right amount.
I LOVE GMEN over Bucs: Gmen are starting to look good, but that's what many thought a few weeks ago. That said, Gradkowski shall meet Strahan and Umenyiora and be humbled, much like Taco gets humbled nearly every time he talks to girls.
I LOVE BOLTS over Rams: If the Falcors are up-down, the Bolts are just...how do I put this...coached by Marty Schottenheimer. They're at home, though, and I think Tomlinson's up for another big game. Plus, St. Louis has used up all of the city's sports mojo for the year.
I LOVE BRONCS over Colts: This is my riskiest pick of the week. The Broncos are looking damn strong, but so are the Colts. I'm going to give the edge to the Broncos because Taco's parents are like parents to all of us.
I LOVE J-E-T-S over Turds: No brainer. Almost as much of a no brainer as not doing motorcycle wheelies in a parking lot. Almost.
I LOVE CROTCH GHOULS over Raidahs: Last week was an aberration for the Raidahs--they were playing a team coached by a guy who now has "punched a microphone" on his resume. Though Big Ben has had a rough season, he hasn't had nearly the bad luck that Taco can conjure up (think "gall bladder of a middle aged woman" or "falling over, while stationary, on a brand new bike that's not stationary" or "working at National American University" among other things).
I LOVE PANTS over Boys: Steve Smith reminds me a lot of Taco. He's short, and you underestimate his speed and heart when playing against him. Okay, so the speed thing may not be there, but he's got heart.
I LOVE PURPLE over Patsies: I'm going to actually mimic Taco here and pick the Vikes. I haven't seen his pick yet, though I can safely assume that he'll pick the Purple--he picked them to win the NBA Western Conference last year. If he's out in CA for the Monday night game, he and Reg are going to be the only two people in the entire state that care about that game--the rest of the state will be eating lunch or something like that.