Turkducken with BUTTER - Week 12

Well as this has gone on I've had many mentions, but to my dismay no rant points. Alas, a bright star shines in the distance. This week Leg listed to formula to a pointworthy rant, so with-out any further delay...

A little pop culture:
Inspired by OJ Simpson I wrote a couple new books this week. To my mom I gave my new book titled "The Cookie I didn't take from the jar and how I would have taken and eaten the cookie, had I actually done it." For my little brother Alex I wrote the book, "Remember the time we were playing Madden and you were beating me, so I didn't take out all your starters and replace them with back-ups while you were at the bathroon, but if I did this is how I would have done it." It felt good to get those un-confessions, not off my chest.

Mention Throw-up:
There is nothing funnier than watching a cat puke. Think of the last time you saw a cat work-up a hairball or any random puke and sit back and laugh at that agonizing heave.

Cite an 80s band:
I feel the need to mention the solo hit Rock-me Amedeaus, by 80s rock stand-out Falco. If you haven't heard it make arrangements. I also challenge you to remember Rick Assley wearing a nice tight pair of Marty McFly style tapered jeans. Are tapered pants sexy or what? When worn tight enough people can see your junk and also the top of your hightop shoes.

Make fun of Peter:
Hey Peter remember that time that me you and T were doing Jedi training push-ups in Bethel. It was very clear that you weren't strong in the force at all. You probably have only 3 or 4 Medaclorines. I feel sorry for you that Yoda will probably never promote you from Padawan. The Jedi-knights get all the lightsaber action and babes. Sux to be you.

Reference the Buf:
The Buf has been a no-show for a few weeks in a row which can mean only 1 thing: Applebees brought back half-price appetizers. Maybe if we all put a call into Applebees we can get them to take away this delicious offer we can fanagle a rant out of Buf about his "brain-like" nipples.

FINS
COWBOYS - the flappin jaws are lovin the cowboys now after the big win, but give them a couple weeks and they'll lose another game they should have won at the last second. As the pressure mounts on Tony Romo while he tries to juggle being the QB of ego-land and running a restaraunt, even if it is "the place for ribs"
BRONCOS - This a game that could go both ways, can you go both ways too?
RAMS
VIKES - I don't know why I'm picking a team that can't score, but it just seem like they should win.
PANTHERS
BENGALS
JETS
JAGS
SAINTS - with the pass rush the Falcons are getting these days Mophats would look Micheal Vick ellusive against them
STEELERS - upset pick. look for the Steelers to get hot again. Not Arby's 5 for $5 hot, but still pretty hot
CHARGERS
GIANTS
BEARS - the pats can really bring it and look scary good at times, and at other times it seems like Belly-check is too busy playing Paperboy for NES. They'll be a tuff test for the Bears. Why isn't this game on at 8???
COLTS - McNabb is out... the Eagles McSeason is McDone
SEAHAWKS

End Stong:
It's Thanksgiving and I think we should take a moment and toast John Madden for Turkducken. That delicious looking turkey that madden named as only he can. Instead of naming it some kind of name that indicates what it is, madden decided it's best described as a turkey (which it is) and a duck (which has nothing to do with it). I love Madden for that. I also love how he whores himself out to a football game year after year, how he played football and rides in the Madden bus hundreds of miles across the country every week, but shivers in his man-thong at the thought of flying. Madden this Turkducken is for you. I can't wait to have some Hamducken in Christmas.