Warning: Mysobol is not for everybody

I'm pleased that I beat MOD last week, but I've gotta move past that and take it one day at a time. Last week's win doesn't mean anything come kickoff this week. I play to win every week, and I can't take any opponent lightly. Apparently I'm playing against Mysobol Man this week. I'm going to school you, Mysobol (whoever you are). Mysobol sounds like a drug that has side effects of stomach cramps, eye bleeding, adam's apple swelling, hair loss, perpetual diarrhea, and impotence.

I LOVE BISON over Kittens: It's tempting to pick the Kittens to get their first win against a mediocre (at best) Buffalo team, but I'm not going to soccumb to that temptation.

I LOVE RAVES over Pants: The Baltimore defense is too strong. Plus, a raven can poke a panther's eyes out in real life. Pesky little buggers.

I LOVE BENG-HOLES over Bucs: Though Gradkowski looked 'alright' last week, and though the Beng-hole defense isn't terribly strong, the Beng-hole offense is just too much. 'Beng-hole' makes me think of Beavis & Butthead--a largely worthless show.

I LOVE BOYS over Texis: I hope Drew Bledsoe throws a pass and it hits TO in the face and his face explodes. Much like Leg's suggestion of ESPNLidle, ESPNTO has actually been up and running for years. Get him the hell off my TV screen, and the hell out of my newspapers. My distaste for TO notwithstanding, the Texis suck.

I LOVE FALCORS over G-men: Falcors are coming off the bye week and G-men are coming off a big win over the Skins. But the home field advantage can be big.

I LOVE UGLIES over Saints: The Saints are good, but the Eagles are better.

I LOVE RUMS over S'HAWKS: Rums are the sexy pick of the moment--and I'm falling for it.

I LOVE SKINS over Tits: Generally this is a push (as skin can equal tits), but tits are just too inexperienced to handle the Skins. I'd absolutely love it if this site showed up on a google search for tits. WDYL: Thwarting perverts and making poop jokes.

I LOVE STEEL over Tribals: Rodeoburger HAS to have a decent game. He just HAS to. I think the Steel defense is too much for the Chefs behind Huard.

I LOVE J-E-T-S over Finitos: The Fins must already be looking at next year's draft. Boy is their face red that they picked up the fumble-ception king and started him too early. Jets are looking so-so, but so-so beats awful as dog poop.

I LOVE BOLTS over Opportunists: Phil Rivers is coming into his own, and Tomlinson had a slow week last week (damn you, Tomlinson!)--he's going to be mad as hell and he's not going to take this anymore.

I LOVE BRONCS over Death: Normally, I would choose death, but Al Davis has beaten death at its own game--and looks scarier than death. And as Tony Kornheiser keeps reminding us, the Offensive Coordinator just came out of running a bed & breakfast.

I LOVE BURRS over Curds: Because this is a no-brainer, I'd like to present a quote from the estimable Tobias Funke of 'Arrested Development' (You should watch it if you haven't yet.) [Tobias has used up a spa package by testing everything out] "Well, yes, but I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands." Epic.