Taco 5

Ok so the start to the season has been a rusty one for Taco, filled with promise and uncertainty. Taco finds himself very similar to two of his favorite sports teams. Like the Vikes, Taco has had some flashes of brilliance, but has not come up big when needed. Taco resembles the Twins because there has been some adamant underachievement in the past few weeks. Anyhoo week five is a big one as it will see Taco getting out of the .500 club and back into the winning ways. Mophats is a mere speed bump along the way.

To the picks:

I love the Loyal Patriotic Men against the Fish. As a fan of the purple, I have to say that if Pepper was still our QB, it is fair to say that we could be 0-4. He would never have lead a fourth quarter drive on the road to kick a FG. Brady by 3.

I love the Saints at home against the Bucs. The Bucs may be the most disappointing team in the NFL this year, I honestly thought that Simms was on a Peyton Manning type year. I was thinking maybe 4,000 + yds and 35 TD's. I mean he has shown so much since his days as a long horn. It was such a smart idea for the Bucs to go with him, and not have a legitimate backup behind him. If he wasn't hurt... Reggie Bush and company by 10.

I love the Men to get away from their losing ways against the Skins. Brunell was all about a mirage last week. E. Manning by 3

I love the Black Cats to get it done at home against poop.

I hate the Bears but they are really good. Watching the Bears is like eating Sobol's hell sticks (aka Beef Jerkey), it's all good when consuming, but than it keeps you up all night frustrated that you partook. Bears by 14. Be on the look out Bears fans. Grossman is starting to get a big head, and it is only a matter of time before he plays a good defense and he makes mistake after mistake. Than we will see how good of a QB he really is.

I hate the Rams and the Packers. If it were possible for this game to suck anymore, they would not play it. This game doesn't even deserve a rant in English so here it is in Russian: Упаковщики - ужасная команда и потеряют эту игру.
Rams by 1/5 of a point.

I love Indy at home against the Titans. Indy's D stinks, but it won't matter because their offense will score 400 points. So I propose that Indy give some of us Who Do you Lovers a shot at D here is the run down.
-The Berg boys at D tackles- could you imagine how sweet that would be, holy frick that would be awesome, no one would ever run against them.
-Freebs and Sobol as Speed Rushing D Ends. Freebs is looking to put Vince on his back side. The issue is that with Sobol taking Freeny's spot they are a little vulnerable against the run.
-I think that Mod should be in the middle because of his ability to read complex offensive schemes. Although Lemke would be a great choice as well because of his uncanny football knowledge of 80's teams.
-Natedell and Lemke at the other linebackers. Although slow I think that Natedell will make a solid run stopping force, Lemke will get to the ball swiftly, but will get destroyed once he get's there.
-I like Tim and Hans at corner, and while they are both shifty and quick, it will be the worst CB tandem in NFL history. Tim will give all out effort on every play and break on every pass and miss time his jump every time. Tim will be solid in run defense however, but they never run to his side. Hans on the other hand will continually forget where his helmet is, although when he finds it he is a wild animal and tears off receivers heads.
-The safeties are Nate Larson and Kyky. Vince Young carves up the D because the cover two never really takes shape. Kyky keeps over thinking economic theories and gets beat on every play. Although he does have some impressive trash talking in Arabic.
-Finally Lars gets long snapping responsibilities but always forgets to block constantly thinking that after he snaps it he should run a button hook. Needless to say that the punting (which is handled by yours truly), suffers blocks every time. Although Lars is open every time . This will also prohibit Jay from having a solid game kicking.
Indy by 559.

I love the Jags at home against the Planes. Jags by 10.

Oakland at San Fran??? Are you kidding me, this might be the worst game in NFL history. I really want to go Splash on it and pick a WNBA game instead. Yet I think that the 9ers are at home and they will win.

I love the Cheifs to get it done against Denny and Matty L. This game could be ugly but Larry Fitzgerald called me the other day and told me he was sitting on a big game. Chiefs by 3.

I love Terrell Owens to get shot in this game and I like the Eagles to get it done at home.

I love the Bolts and LT to get it done and make the defending world champs 1-3.

I love the Ravens to get it done at the B'cos. It is very possible that Ray Lewis will commit murder in this game.

Finally the game o' da week... I love the V-I-K-E-S to get it done on Sunday, Monday, or whenever the heck they play. The Lions are 0-4. The Vikes have scored three offensive TD's all year. Something has to give. Vikes by 2 TD's