MOD eats Kyky's boogers

It's fairly short and sweet for me, this week. I'm supposed to be reading German philosophy, and I Kant put it off any longer. It's a tough matchup against MOD this week, but I'm feeling good. So good, in fact, that I'm going to go take a nap and let the computer auto-pick and auto-rant for me. Eat my boogers, MOD. Eat 'em real good.

I LOVE BURRS over Bison...because, as much as I hate this, the Burrs are damn near invincible. Also of note, John Madden is christening Rex Grossman the 'next Brett Favre.' I think he just needs a new point of reference when Brett Favre is gone.

I LOVE PANTS over Poops...although poops usually beat pants in a fight.

I LOVE VIKES over Loins...because all MN sports teams can't be outperformed by a Detroit team.

I LOVE PATS over Fins...Maroney's starting to look good. I hear he has, like, 15,000 MySpace friends and 8,000 over on Facebook. That's more than Tom Brady. Damn.

I LOVE RUMS over Pack...Aaron Rogers is in the most 'no-win' situation in the world. Well,
perhaps I'd rather be Aaron Rogers than Nouri al-Maliki.

I LOVE SAINTS over Bucs...Francis of Assisi kicks Jack Sparrow's ass any day. An adaptation: "Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary, beat the poop out of your opponent."

I LOVE COLTS over Tits...Even though I disdain people with the first name Dallas (were El Paso and Fort Worth taken?!?), Clark figures only slightly into the offensive plan, and the Colts dominate.

I LOVE SKINS over G-Men...In honor of Columbus Day, the Indians fight back and whup the stuffing out of the Northeast pilgrims.

I LOVE CHEFS over Cards...Matt Leinart should have transferred to Bethel to take CWC. It's clear throughout Western history that young people entrusted with too much power tend to suck at being quarterback.

I LOVE JAGS over j-e-t-s...Man-gina misses the bus--he's mistaken for a ball boy and left behind. Not in the Tim LaHaye-Jerry Jenkins sense of 'left behind.' That doesn't happen until the j-e-t-s get to the Super Bowl behind Joe Namath III in 2042.

I LOVE 9ERS over Black...Can't the Raiders just forfeit the rest of the season? I know it would be more interesting to see a reality TV show called "We're so depressed and we have ugly fans that we don't want to play, we just want to yell at each other."

I LOVE UGGLES over Boys...TO and Donovan make out at the 50 in the scandal of the year. Things get a little awkward when Meatloaf sings, "A Kiss is a terrible thing to waste" during halftime. Lots of throw-up to clean up after the game.

I LOVE DIABLO over Steel...Why not? Willie Parker is now only "Moderate Willie Parker"
instead of "Fast Willie Parker."

I LOVE BRONCS over Raves...Jake Plummer dangles a document in front of Ray Lewis that looks suspiciously like a subpoena, making Lewis rip his head off a la 'Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots.' He gets taken away, Jay Cutler comes in and saves the day, and the name John Elway subsequently has as much cache in Denver as Chris Jackson (who, according to Wikipedia, is now an Imam in Mississippi).

On a non-football note: Bollocks to the A's. And isn't Pat Neshak a Biblical character?

Peace out.