4) CULTS over the haguars. David Ga-Tard leads the rest of the smack-tards in a losing effort that makes a Byron Leftwich interview seem intelligent. CULT leader Peyton will light up the board like usual in another key victory for commericalization.
3) CATTLE-jerks over the purple. What I wouldn't give to have Mike Tice back for a post game interview or two. Maybe just a few words of the wise, a leg injury, or best yet a televised game of LOTR Risk between Tice and Parcells. Seriously, it's about that time of year for a Vikings collapse. A season without it is like a trip to Arby's without the secret sauce.
2) STEALERZ over the john elway car dealerships. Is it possible Tomlin charmed "the chin" over a nice dinner w/ pie at Bakers Square to get a hold of his super-secret-how-to-win-playbook? I hate to gossip, but...
1) BEARS over an andy ried timeout for donuts. You heard it here first: Griese gets hurt in the first quarter and Rex comes in to light up the scoreboard. Then, next week he throws 4 INTS forcing Lovie flee the country hiding in a freight truck bound for Panama.
Normally at this point in the rant I turn the discussion to Sci-Fi. I would probably find some way to bring up Falcor, the Force, hoverboards, maybe David Bowie's staring role in Labrinth, or Magneto. I could even make fun of Mokena, men's capri or the metric system. I think rather than a rant, I'll just repectfully submit this picture and let it do the talking:
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