Larson: Week 3

Hello, everybody! Wow, this "blogging" thing is neat, isn't it?

Here are my picks. I hope I get every pick right.

Washington over Houston: The only way a Battle For The Basement like this could be any worse is if the Packers could somehow play themselves.

Buffalo over NY Jets: Why does New York get so many football teams? There are some states (North Dakota, Nebraska, South Carolina, etc.) who don't even get one!

Detroit over Green Bay: I'm working on a poem: "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Packers suck." Catchy, eh?

Indianapolis over Jacksonville: Ever stop to think that "Indianapolis" literally means "Indian City"? Or that "Jacksonville" literally means "Jackson's Village"? Peyton Manning will throw for over 350 yards. Also: don't you think Byron Leftwich has a baby face?

Minnesota over Chicago: Wow, this is going to be an amazing game. Close though it may be, Minnesota's D will hold, our O will find a way (three words: tight end play), and the Dome noise will end up being the deciding factor. Rex "Creepy Eyebrows" Grossman will never establish a real rhythm, and false starts will derail the Bears offense all afternoon.

Tennessee over Miami: In Iroquois, "Culpepper" means "To start sucking in 2005 and continue throughout the rest of one's career." Man, Pep...you're not good anymore, and I'm glad we traded you for two paperclips, a coupon for a free hamburger at White Castle, and a 25 watt compact flourescent bulb.

Pittsburgh over Cininnati: In pregame warmups on the field, Palmer inadvertantly runs into Cowher's chin, giving him a mild concussion and requiring 4 stitches. Darndest thing is, Cowher was still in his locker room! (I'm making light of the fact that Cowher's chin is really large...so large, in fact, that it would protrude onto the playing field while Bill was still in the locker room! That would require something like a 200 foot chin! I'm joking, of course...it's more than likely no more than a half an inch larger than the national average. But you must admit, it is rather pronounced!) (And by the way, I hope Ben doesn't play. He's not good, though he isn't Culpepper bad quite yet. And Culpepper isn't Favre bad quite yet.)

Carolina over Tampa Bay: Presidential visits aside, Tampa Bay won't beat a smoldering Panther team, still stewing over its last loss. And the Panthers won't be running any Mickey Mouse plays this week, either.

Baltimore over Cleveland: Lamest team name in the league aside, Baltimore will crush Cleveland. The Ravens? When I hear the name "Ravens", I think of none other than the precocious youngster who stole our hearts in the early nineties...Raven Symone. PS: She turns 21 on the tenth of December this year...party time!

NY Giants ove Seattle: As much as I know I shouldn't make this pick, I'm going to make it. There. I just did.

Arizona over St. Louis: Why not?

Philadelphia over San Francisco: "Thanks to San Francisco's large homosexual population, the Lord will give Philadelphia an overwhelming victory this Sunday. This will restore America's favor in the eyes of God, and return her to her rightful place as God's favorite country in the world." (This pick brought to you by celebrity football analyst Pat Robertson.)

New England over Denver: Denver, stick with making those great omelettes and writing catchy songs like "Take Me Home, Country Roads" and "The Eagle".

And finally, on Monday night...

Atlanta over New Orleans: Tearful homecomings aside, Vick's back. Nuff said.

Additionally, here are two bonus picks:

San Diego over Dallas, Kansas City over Oakland.